UNTITLED pt.2

B. McGILLICUDDY

Power strikes silentish. It doesn't need its words, or, it speaks softly rather
And her hold on me is like a hook inside my ribcage, like a hook for every rib
All rope-a-doped and tied tight to her halo, that swings and winds and never stops a-tuggin'
DO NOT WANT, because when she is happy I am 'appy
Like a homeless lil cockney kid who just got tossed an apple "cum gratis"
But lover/hater, pick a side, I'm here to stay, don't keep lyin' 'r tryin' to push me away
'Cause I'm yankin' yer halo, e-s-p today
Left carrot three, left carrot three, left carrot three
I got love four "u" babe, and I need "u" undeniably
I typo less when we're 2gether, and I'm writing a novel 4 u, and we spilled water on my backspace key, so I need to typo less to finish the novel
That is not the only reason I "need" you. I "need" you because I need you. Without you I stop being a person. I hurt people like you try to hurt me. I stop thinking and start manipulating and orchestrating and treating animals like they don't have souls, even though it is humane to do this and inhumane not to. You make me human.
Last time this happened I almost lost myself completely. Thank you Andrew, you found me. I'm losing myself again. I don't want to lose myself. I would rather lose the whole universe than lose myself, and you are an important part of my "self" babe. With or without your apathy. I get it if I'm not conducive to your life. I can love you and leave you with that knowledge in my heart. I can sacrifice myself for you, but I cannot lose myself for nothing. I cannot. I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot. But your'e letting me. You're putting me here. You're leaving me here. I am left. Everyone has sort of left me. It's bad enough that I feel alone all the time. Now I know I am alone and I don't need a reminder. This is too intense for me. Be nice to me, because I will change with you. I will grow, it's inevitable. You won't be apathetic all the time or forever. It hurts more when you pretend you hate me than when you tell me things "honestly". Today was too intense. Today was too intense.

B. McGILLICUDDY