ΗΛΙΑΚΕΣ ΚΗΛΊΔΕΣ (SUNSPOTS)

B. McGILLICUDDY

You see, there are some relatively dark places in the heart of the content. But really I laugh way more than I cry. I smile way more than I am stoic. I spasm with glee way more than I droop with disdain. But the really real reality of the matter is that I am dating a realist. Her "cute!" and "awww" and "TAKE ME" receptors all work just fine, but the more romantic I get the more inhumane it all seems.

It's too much pressure on a girl to be some guy's "end-all-be-all-fuck-life/the-world-if-I-can-only-be-with-you-ME&U2GETHER4EVER!!!". At least in the "real world" it is. So I don't worship her as such. She is another human being looking for attention/companionship/inspiration, and to the extent that I can provide those things, I do and will as long as I physically/mentally can. But never, ever, ever do I want to be her sun and moon, her morning and evening star, or her prince charming for that matter, because I am not a member of a cult, the messiah of a religion, or a sword-wielding dragon-slayer.

I am one part of a two-sided human relationship with an absolutely breathtaking woman, who I enjoy and endure and energize every chance that I can get, because THAT'S how this shit seems to work at the moment. Give me a rho, an omicron, a mu, an alpha, a nu, a tau, an iota, a kappa, an omicron, and a sigma, and what do you get? A "ΡΟΜΑΝΤΙΚΟΣ". But I don't live on mount Olympus either. So forgive me for being one in Modern English/TXTSPK, but those are the only dialects we both know. Maybe when they invent a froofy, melodic love language that only uses five syllables to express the whole spectrum of human emotions, I'll take four years of it and spend the Summer in its country of origin.

Then maybe I'll know what "true love" is. Or maybe I already do, and no one but me knows it yet.

B. McGILLICUDDY