Do My Tits Look Big in This

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No, I am not cold. Yes, my nipples may be hard, but they are NOT yearning for your attention. Can I help it that I must walk around with breasts the size of *Christmas hams on my chest?? My eyes are not located there, and I would prefer you didn't stare. Every time somebody stares at my breasts instead of my face, I imagine them Jim Careying (yeah, I just made up my own term...) them like in Liar Liar (please tell me you know that movie. it's hilarious!), and trust me, someone the age of your grandfather even considering my chest as a playground is SO not the business.

Everybody has them... even men... some more so than others. and they are quite disgusting on the non-female half of our uhhh.... population.

Boobs can be lots of fun if you know how to... play with them. (HAHAH!!! pun intended!!!!ROFLOLLMMFAOOWLWOW)

Ladies, you should know how to make these amazing assets work for you. without appearing wholly slutty.

Low-cut shirts, when worn at the appropriate times can yield drinks (alcoholic, of course!), a great meal, or even dinner if you play it right.

When worn at inappropriate times, you will just be seen as a whore who is yearning for male attention... and maybe you are... but an interview isn't the best time for these darling assets to be... used to your advantage.

I fear losing weight, for if I do I may look like Pam Anderson, so I choose to steer clear of anything that may expose me to the torrid weather that is mankind.

I would like to know why men are so obsessed with breasts, so I interviewed a great friend of mine & fellow poet, and self-proclaimed tit-man, Pages (he's AMAZING!! yeah, I write poetry...whatever).

Jada: Why not the **Booty?
Pages: The **Butt is just cushion; it's not the juicy goodness in the middle. The larger the boobs the better.

J: Is there a bad size?
P: Well too much of anything is a bad thing. But when they're tiny, I always wanna offer them some miracle grow.

J: You're ***African, aren't butts, like, super-important.
P: In Africa, the women have everything.

(And there I run out of questions, but he leaves me with the following words:

In my country we have a saying when we see women with large breasts:

Tu as du monde au balcon
light translation: You have alot of people in your balcony)

I haven't found a reason why people love boobs, but I was able to make loads of men surrounding in the cafe that I am in quite uncomfortable. Which is so much more... fulfilling...
(pun, yet again, intended.)

No, there wasn't a point in the post, but was there a point in you reading it??

:D

Not Gonna Fly Your Plane into These Twin Towers,




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*Not my personal opinion, but, hey, I can't really argue with someone I spend just about every moment with.

**as we can tell, I idolize the behind...

***he's from Cameroon