3/20/2009

PREFERENTIAL DIFFERENTIAL

B. McGILLICUDDY

I like a lot of things. And I dislike even more things than those. For example, the grammar usage in the last sentence: HATED IT. But whatever it is about the likable things in my life that makes them superior to what YOU like, it's my personal compulsions, and little more, that makes any much ado about my preferences toward them. Maybe popular opinion has some sort of say, but I tend to try to be ANTI-POPULAR OPINION, because popule suck!

I have, however, happened upon a bunch of popule who philosophically agree with my take on what's to be liked*/unliked* with reference to the human condition/worldviews in general/ghey marriage/(f)art, but they are my xolaektyv(collective) simply because I like to think they are, not because I have any right to their thoughts or because I prescribe to their SUPERIOR OPINIONS. And luckily for me, none of them have deemed me "too pretentious" or a big enough asshole to leave me and my need for intimacy in the dust.

But you've seen the product of it, and I like to think this is a beautiful collection of literature by a collection of LITERALLY (NO SRSLY) BEAUTIFUL people, no matter how constantly self-reflective and ugly this blaaag is/may be to any of you(r m)other(s) cock-suckers (and no, I don't intend to suggest that I have had the great honor and privilege to have ever performed fellatio, I'm using the term as a form of post-post-argumentative degradation; no offense to you, fellatiatorés, we recipients are forever indebted to you). Which brings up the point that there are some dudes who don't like getting head, which I mean, srsly, "to each his own" and a "pfft!w/evs" on that one.

But what it was that I was talking about was the highly self-reflective nature of this bloag. AND ISN'T LIFE SELF-REFLECTIVE Y'ALL!? Isn't every moment a resonating reminder that there was A LOT OF SHIT that built up to this? And "liking" one damn thing or another may make it more prevalent in your life, your mind's eye, or in and around your mouth/vagina/septum/urethra, but what I LIKE:D and what u lyke:\ are basically on a level playing field of importance/relevance to the outcome of human existence/history/what tweens amidst existential crises will be obsessed with in the near/relatively distant future (yeah right, I'm way more tween fodder than you'll ever be).

So, I scream, you scream, we all scream for relevance I suppose, but I'm going to go off and do what it is that gets my cheeks a-grinnin' and vocal cords a-mmmmmin' and O face a-Oin', cause that just sounds a helluva lot more fun than sitting at home sans alcoholism/expensive drug habit/disease(acquired via sexual transmission). But you sir, you go'on dew whaatchu whaant (or don't necessarily want to do, but will, because of your obligations and many responsibilities to your ungrateful family, money-hungry church, and to your guilty guilty guilty addiction to child pornography that you have to keep like super super secret, yo).

OMG I'M GONNA GO HAVE/ENJOY A CIGARETTE NAO (via carcinogenic poison respiring through my bronchi and directly attaching to naturally-occuring neurotransmitters in my brain that make me go "OMG, I EXIST!" and will ultimately result in my premature(???) death(???) at the hands of a serious car(cancer(cougar)) accident(affliction(attack)))!!!

B. McGILLICUDDY

3 comments:

  1. i started a slow clap after reading this. it built up to a formidable momentum.

    ReplyDelete
  2. that's kind of like what i do when i am on the receiving end of a mouth that likes to suck cock! except my version is called "cunnilingus". It's like clapping, but with your tongue.

    ReplyDelete

archive