I THINK I CAN PRETEND TO BE HAPPY FOR A MINUTE

B. McGILLICUDDY

It is warm outside. It's pretty sexy I'd say. But then again, what do I know about sex? I'm a VIRGIN. Right, Virginity Thief?

I'm smiling while I write this. But it's not one of those cheery, giggly, pip-uppity smiles. It's a 'fake it til you make it' smile, a 'hang in there kitty' smile. B/c it's the warmest day of Spring so far, and I'm eating my emotions via Pizza Hut's wonderful stuffed-crust pizza!

Need to find a way to get laid today. Maybe I'll get a job and make some money (not kidding), buy a car and pick up some chicks at the local mall (for those of you who've never seen me, yes, I am the sexiest man alive and can perform such feats with ease). Maybe I'll marry my high school sweetheart via Catholic Justice of the Peace (slim/fat chance). Maybe I'll woo my way back into my GF's good graces! (All in a day's work) Today is so full of potential!!!

I think I'm going to go take a nap to wait out this hangover. THEN shit's going to get DONE.


De La Cruise,

B. McGILLICUDDY