FRENCH THINGS

B. McGILLICUDDY

One day, we're gonna live in Paris. I promise. I'm on it. Actually, I don't have a job, the economy's still in shambles, I'm completely preoccupied by "finding myself" and we're probably not right for each other. But I'm still working on that.

I really, really like French things. For example, I like La Frere, the Eiffel Phallus, (used to like) Justice (a lot), Tecktonik dance routines, and swirly architecture. Oh! And the Louvre! I've never been, but all the online 3-D tours I've been on have got me convinced that there are some pretty interesting paintings there.

Is Paris still considered a romantic city? Last time I heardtell of such rumors was when when the movie Paris Je T'aime came out, which was like, years ago. Really though, is it possible that in Paris the ups and downs and traumatic euphoria of togetherness would evaporate just cause of the location? Or have I misconstrued the concept? People still have daily routines in Paris, right? So that means they must not be quite as happy as I once imagined, because in order to keep things fresh, you gotta switch it up CONSTANTLY. Conversely, if you'd be no happier in the City of Lights, (may she stand bright forever) then why not move there? A change of scenery never hurt an ailing relationship. It may not help, but it won't hurt.

I promised my girlfriend we'd go somewhere genuinely romantic overseas before we split, if we ever split, and now that we've split and reunited, promises and romance seem kind of overindulged-in generally. What's wrong with fucking and munching and driving each other crazy for no good reason? It's fun! At least until the pregnancy test comes back.

I know there are other places in France. But people don't typically make popular movies about them.

B. McGILLICUDDY