WTF BEAUTIFUL?

B. McGILLICUDDY

I'm feeling jaunty guys. Like I kind of want to get a tattoo, but I kind of just want to smash something while smiling about it, or maybe have like 5 straight hours of goofy sex

Do you know what goofy sex is? It's by far my favorite kind

It typically involves awkward position changes, accompanied by a joke, and directly followed by orgasm-inducing thump-gushing

There is also typically nekkid chasing involved

And trying to do other things mid-coitus

Like answering the phone

And fbchatting

And braiding the broad's hair while doing her from behind

But not out of boredom, mind you

These are experience-enhancing moments that are a part of the goofy sex 'foreplay experience'

What's fucked up about goofy sex, is that you gotta know what you're doing to enjoy it. And most fucktards don't know what the fuck they're doing in bed

I don't know why I'm in this mood

I probably should have titled this 'SEX THAT IS GOOFY' or something to that effect

I am simultaneously breaking something expensive, smiling, and typing this with one hand

B. McGILLICUDDY