5/14/2009

FINALS/LOVE CONNECTION

B. McGILLICUDDY

A lot of our arbitrary opinions are arbitrary because we don't believe in shit and are not well-informed

But I'm curious, and curiosity can take you places

I want to apologize for RoRhet's other contributors, who are busy with other things, like papers and getting into sour relationships and things

So wish them luck

I on the other hand am working on my novel and have on my mind the concept of pre-Gen-Xers going through their midlife crises right now, and becoming hipsters

The world is odd

Anybody fall in love recently?

The comment section for this post can be where YOU blog about the RoRhet you've been spitting

Go ahead

Speak/write your love bellow.

B. McGILLICUDDY

4 comments:

  1. You can trust that on nights when winter stops
    us star gazing
    I will keep you warm,
    building explosive constellations behind your eyes.
    Doing so to compensate,
    to satisfy celestial yearnings,
    to fly among the stars:
    mouth ajar,
    eyes skyward,
    pupils dialated,
    muscles tensed,
    arms flailing,
    grappling for stability.

    Floundering against the overwhelming nature
    of galaxies,
    consisted of loud orgasms and sloppy wet sounds.
    Lickings, Kissings, Slappings, Pullings
    Rough enough to feel you rearrange my insides,
    Rough enough to feel shared sweat pooling on torsos, and the skin between joints.

    In my head, I see us rocking this worlds' eyes wide shut.
    In my head, you are a stallion or a falcon or a lion.
    In my head; I lik-...I love you

    Shhh!

    (I love you
    I love you
    I love you.)

    Shhhhhh!

    (I love you
    I love you
    I love you.)

    Shut up brain!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "We Had Time On Our Side. In The Beginning. We Had Nothing To Hide. In The Beginning."

    It happened way to fast. I didn't expect this. The attraction. The connection. The conversation. The excitement. The uncertainty. Everything. I didn't believe this was real.

    We could have talked for hours and we did. We talked about our beliefs, ourselves, what we wanted to achieve in our lifetime and other things. My smile didn't go away that day. I've never felt so drawn to someone as much as I did that day. We said we'd do it again.

    This time, we got a little more comfortable with each other. Causal flirting. I wanted to take it further right there, right now. We had more time. It felt like it was just us and our drinks. I once again could not stop smiling. Again, this is unreal.

    As I rush home to make it on time, I had nothing on my mind except him. Again, I couldnt stop smiling waiting for the next time I would see him again.

    Our first date. Baltimore. The Lights. The Water. The attraction was unbearable. How could this be happening. I wanted to kiss him on that bridge. But I resist. I melt when he touches me. I am putty. We go to a bar. I am enjoying some drinks and nice conversation. He touches me and I melt. Again. I take him outside and enjoy our first kiss. It didn't want it to end. I think of nothing else but this. moment. here.

    I go home wanting more.

    He goes to Mardi Grais. I start to care. I start to trust. We talk in the wee hours of night. He's on the road, I'm at home. He calls me almost every night. "I would fight for you. I would show you off to everyone..... I haven't been this interested in someone in a long time."
    These are the words said to me. I feel assured. I feel happy.

    "I hate dating". I was ready to start something with him. He wasn't then. I prepare to end all contact, my heart is breaking. We both get sucked back in.

    "I am a piece of shit... but i do miss you." I am confused. I reassure him that he has good qualities. I am told the same thing. I go to sleep.

    "I have something to tell you." Immediately I knew. I feel heartbroken, stupid and betrayed. I get over it in a couple hours. I agree to meet to "talk". Altogether the drive was 100 miles. Dedicated. Trust is Gone. But I still care.

    The time spent I just sat there staring, just looking asking Why? Why?. In my head I ask "Is this my karma and I'm being punished but for what?" And then i figure it out. It is my karma. The night ends with me wanting to kiss him but I physically and emotionally can't. I feel no better than I did.

    The couple of weeks is a blur until Saturday. This day does not need a date. We both were excited to spend a whole day together. Thinking back, I should have went over there first. I called him to ask "Where are you.. hurry!". By the time he gets there I have finished a pint of jack on an empty stomach and was in the hot tub. I run up to him, invite him in. I feel something is not right. I check my phone assuming nothing as I read a heart wrenching text. I am angered. I lash out the only way I know how. By "having fun". Certain songs trigger my angry. I cannot help it. I avoid him as much as possible or play it off. The evening became a nightmare.

    Just us arguing. It seemed like eternity. Past girlfriends are brought up. { I am not your ex-girlfriends } I say nothing. Past experiences come up. { I don't want to heard about them. } Voices get louder. I say nothing.

    We ended up upstairs like everything was fine. We spend the rest of the night together. I am happy. This is what I wanted the whole day. This is what should have happened today. I hate Saturday.

    We fight over the same issues.
    We're fine.
    I have never been in this situation.

    Why must things be so complicated?
    I think back to the beginning. I want to go back to it. I want that...... I want that.

    We plan trips and activities together. I met the parents, co-workers and enjoy each other's company. Those plans never happen.

    We argue about the same issues. He's not over Saturday. I try to reassure him. No avail. I am blocked out of his life for the second time. But I am stubborn and persist. Heartbreak comes with being stubborn.

    Our last conversation is bad. We end it. I had no last words to say until last night. I typed him.

    I am left with "I am always second string."

    You were never second string. Is what I thought to myself. I resist from replying back.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was "5hourenergy," but too much of a punk to put up my actual name.

    Thanks for the danks!
    What a sweet sentiment from a salacious scribe.

    (I like alliteration)

    ReplyDelete

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