WHAT I THINK BAD BREAK-UPS FEEL LIKE (HAPPY ENDING VERSION)

B. McGILLICUDDY

'Bad break-ups' can be put into a spectrum

A spectrum called 'the spectrum of how bad a break-up can be/the worst ways someone can hurt you personally'

This pome is what I think the 'mean' or 'average' break up goes/feels like

There is a 'distance' between your brain and their personality

You have always 'changed' when you are around them

At one time that change felt 'good' or 'confusing' or like 'I might have wet myself a little'

But now it is just bad

And not an 'I hate you' bad, because you aren't there yet

It is a 'please step away from me all the time' bad

Or an 'I am afraid I might not be able to control the volume of my voice the next time I say something in your direction' bad

And then at some point, you aren't able to control your voice, and they do step away from you all the time

And maybe that feels worse, or you think 'why are they doing that?' and 'they shouldn't do that just because I feel like I wish that they would do that'

And then you feel an 'I think that I love and maybe hate you' bad

And sometimes you see each other and for no good reason you/they don't step away and you/they are completely in control of the volume or your/their voice

And sometimes this happens repeatedly or for one very long time

And your brain wants to think that this might be 'good' or 'confusing' or that 'I might have wet myself a little'

But then your brain rejects this, and says 'no, that is not possible, that person is bad for me'

And then you think 'I hate that person'

And you very much wish you actually felt 'I hate that person'

But ultimately it feels more like 'I miss that person more than my brain is capable of handling'

And then, just in the middle of a thought very similar to 'I miss that person more than...', you notice someone who makes you feel 'good' or 'confused' or like 'I might have wet myself a little'

And your brain shuts up

And your face smiles

B. McGILLICUDDY