FLOYD'S AN ASSFACE

B. McGILLICUDDY

me: hey bro
i think i'm going to start talking to you more often when 'you're away'
b/c that means i can say whatever the fuck i want and get away with slandering you to your face
i think ur a homofagtard and that you might have a vagina
and that you have aweful taste in 'word selection' when it comes to your writing
'jk'
how are you bro?
i missed you while you were away in italy
did you have a 'badass time'?
kella just tweeted 'I LOVE CANDY'
and it made me smile and nod knowingly a little
what do you do if you're in love with a girl you barely know
and you want to spend all of your time and shit with her, but can't for multiple reasons
i.e. living far away from each other
not corresponding on the internet well
having differing interests like dropping out vs. going to med school
and procreation
but 'have a connection'?
i meant to put scare quotes around 'send' btw
b/c it indicates that i am questioning the process of 'sending' something
if i'm not personally introducing it to its new environment
i'm really questioning the internet here
makes me wonder if i exist at all
but then again i don't really care
but i enjoy slandering you
so i'm going to call you an assface
how's that feel, assface?
Sent at 6:58 PM on Thursday

FLOYD: great thanks
gtg
enjoyed this
keep it up
think its the
'best thing you've ever wrote'
Sent at 7:33 PM on Thursday

B. McGILLICUDDY