JESUS H. CHRIST. Women are fucking AMZNG(see Urban Dictionary's 'Crazy As A Cat On LSD').
Wait...NVM, I'll just show you.
That's a perfect audio-visual parallel for the 'logical reaction' I tend to get from most (SINGLE) women to such simple concepts as 'sex with no strings attached', 'wanna shag?', and 'baby come back!'. I thought we were living in a post-feminist era ladies, what happened to it being 'OK 2 b hornie'?
If only all girls were hot/could hold their liquor/had keut scottie acczies...Then we'd all be living in some perverted(highly subjective term here) Islamic martyr's paradise, on the British Isles no less:
Schawing! The obvious point of this post is sexually oriented though. Particularly with regards to trying to help women understand the concept of 'I AM FREAKING OUT. I NEED SOMEWHERE TO PUT THIS. WILL YOU OBLIGE, PLZ?' and understanding that in that moment, when epinephrine and testosterone are the chemical combustion engine powering the thump/gush-o-lator, it immediately becomes all about getting YOU(ladies) hot enough to allow US(bros) to sweeten YOUR day/night/regrettable drunken shenanigans, and ultimately, to get the tragic realization (and subsequent visualization) that 'OMG SHE HAS A VAGINA' out of our goddamned minds.
WHOA! Whole other chauvinistic blog post entirely...sry bout that.
But srsly, dudes who you(girls) 'like as friends' and who 'probs wouldn't get all ridic' if you let them have what they are in constant pursuit of for once, deserve a reward for their broery. And I say this because (this may or may not be from personal experience) the 'sluts' in life ARE THE AWESOMEST BROADS IN THE WORLD. The girls who'll have casual sex with a dude, lay down the rules (and pressure-points plz) straight and proper, and who won't be all hide-and-seekie or 'OH FUX ITZ HIM' later, are fucking D-O-P-E man. And, word to the dudemen, they will love you for not being a huge fucking dick about it. If everybody just treats the peeps like the peeps they are after the bed's been made, you've got a fucking(used to intensify the following noun, not to suggest perpetuating the fun for too long) friend for life!
That is, everyone, as long as you do the condom thing bro. Do the condom thing, and shit will stay snazzy.
So, for all you social butterflies with your proboscises checkin out the flowerbed's saucy-sweet nectar, and for all you classy sugardolls with (hopefully) an ounce of libido at least and an understanding that a bro will be your bro if you don't act like a hoe. Please, don't be afraid to get some well-deserved energizing out when it's necessary.
The ladies that waxed, they all know why I'm coming (not a direct quote y'all).
ENJOY, and for the Holy Orgasm's sake, 'git ur freak awn',
*UPDATE* Oh. Well, damn. http://www.prevention.com/article/spooging_saves_lives
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