I AM A MAN pt.4/5

B. McGILLICUDDY

Part 4 of 5

I think it’s really unfortunate that there are differences between the two of us, you know? I mean, you may like being a woman and all, and probably have no desire to “get” what it is we dudes “get”. And similarly, I have no desire to “get” why you would allow anything hard, cylindrical, and potentially life-threatening to be shoved in or around your person (unless of course it's a full, platonic can of beer, shoved in or around your hand). But I WISH I could rationalize like you do and wake up without immediately wondering, "man, how awesome would it be if I had somewhere warm and squishy to put this!?", but I can’t change that, because though I might carelessly rip my own heart out for fun, there's one part of my anatomy that I'm irrationally obsessed with, and permanently removing it would be the only solution to said problem. SO. FUCK. THAT. Fortunately though, there IS somewhere warm and inviting that’s natural function corresponds perfectly with my curiosity, and it is INCOMPARABLY satisfying/surprising when it ignores my poor social habits as a guest and says, “n-n-no, it’s fine! Come in! Come in!”

Part 4 of 5

B. McGILLICUDDY