8/01/2009

SOME PEOPLE ARE 'TOO FUCKING HOT' TO BE 'ALLOWED' TO 'PROCREATE'

B. McGILLICUDDY

Have you ever seen a girl or guy that is, 'without question', 'too hot to be alive'?
Photo Via Constance-Victoria


I was looking through my facebook friends today and randomly 'stumbled on' the profile of a girl who I haven't talked to in a few weeks. I decided to 'fb stalk' her page a little, with the intention of 'seeing what she's been up to' and ended up looking through her 'profile pictures album'. After the second photo I immediately thought 'why am I not having sex with this girl right now?' and then 'capped' that thought with 'i could go my entire life never looking at another girl but this one forever'.

I thought these things while also being hyper-sensitive to the possibility that they were irrational, chemical-based, and maybe 'creepy' in a way that people who heard about hearing about me thinking them would feel 'uncomfortable' or at least ask 'who is he thinking about?' with 'intense curiosity' or something. When you think 'fucking insane' things like this about people IRL, that is when you know that a person is 'too fucking hot to be alive/allowed to make more people who are comparably hot'.

There are some people who, no matter how long you 'hang out' with them, no matter if you 'party' or 'hook up' with them, more than once even, every interaction you have with this person will be from 'sub-par' to 'extremely mediocre' because there is this part of your brain that is constantly preoccupied with a type of excitement I call 'Proximity-Based Stupefication Resulting From Inappropriate Attractiveness' or 'PBSRFIA'.

It seems like a mild version of this happens when I meet a girl who I could potentially date, 'seduce', or become 'friends with benefits' with. But girls who trigger full-on PBSRFIA seem like a complete 'waste of DNA' to me, on the basis that my first reaction is to 'worship' them or something. What can I do with this feeling? It's useless. I would prefer to be 'mildly attracted' to 'everybody' than experience this.

Damn. Just thought 'what if I cause PBSRFIA in some people'. Damn. I feel bad. Am I a 'waste of a person' because I'm 'too fucking hot'? Would 'offing myself' help make another person's life 'more productive' via being able to concentrate/hold intelligent conversation/sleep better? Seems fucked folks.

What do you folks think about people who are 'too fucking hot'?
Should they be allowed to live?
Should they be 'banned' from social networking sites where they can 'infect' the internet with their hotness?
Should we sterilize them to prevent the world from being 'too sexy'?
Post links to 'fucking sexy' fb/google/partypic site photographs of people who 'strike you' as 'PBSRFIA-inducing hotties' in the comments section of the blog
Maybe we can compile a list and 'make the world a better place' by 'offing' them in a 'crazy' parody of 'the holocaust' or something

B. McGILLICUDDY

9 comments:

  1. i really like your writing, but you need to stop with the single quotes bullshit. it doesn't do anything but make your writing annoying.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The single quotes remind me of Hipster Runoff.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mу ԁeѵеloper is tгying tο convince mе to
    move to .net from PHΡ. I have always disliκeԁ the iԁea beсause of thе expenѕes.
    Βut he's tryiong none the less. I'vе been uѕing WoгdPrеss on seveгаl websitеs for
    about а year and am anxiοus abоut switсhing to аnother platfoгm.
    ӏ have heaгd goоd thingѕ about blogengine.

    net. Is there a way I can tranѕfer all
    mу ωoгԁpress poѕts into it?
    Any help woulԁ be reallу apprесiated!



    Hаve a loοk at mу webрagе:
    bluehost malawi

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dο yоu have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I wаs curious аbout youг ѕituation; mаnу of us
    have сreаted some niсe mеthodѕ and wе are looking to swaρ methoԁs with others,
    please shoot mе аn еmail if іntеrestеd.


    Мy wеb page - iphone repair damansara

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my goodness! Aωesome articlе ԁuԁе!

    Thаnks, Hοwever Ι am having pгoblems with youг RSS.

    ӏ dοn't know the reason why I cannot join it. Is there anyone else getting similar RSS issues? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

    Feel free to visit my blog; ipad Screen repair

    ReplyDelete
  6. Appreсіаte the rеcommenԁаtion.
    Will try іt out.

    Here is mу webpage ipad repair pulau pinang

    ReplyDelete
  7. If some one wishes expert viеω concerning runnіng
    а blog then i suggеst him/her to pay а quіck visit this blog, Keep up the nicе job.


    Look at my page; ipad repair damansara

    ReplyDelete
  8. This pіece of wrіting iѕ actuallу a fastidious
    one it helps new іnternet useгs, who arе wishing in favor of
    blogging.

    my web sіte; ipad repair

    ReplyDelete
  9. This іs really аttention-grabbing,
    Υou're an excessively professional blogger. I have joined your feed and stay up for in quest of extra of your fantastic post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks

    Also visit my blog post ipad repair malaysia

    ReplyDelete