B. McGILLICUDDY
This is a post about emotional maintenance and psychotic behavior. What do you do if your normally chill-ass bf/gf is becoming 'distant'/'more distant than usual'?
Eventually 'everything must die', but here are a few ways to keep Mr./Mrs. Right Now 'snogging' just you for about a week maybe.
-- Purchase tickets to a show that 'could change their life' or something, at a music venue that will have 'lasting nostalgia' and make the break-up process harder on them
-- Learn some new sex move that will 'blow their minds' and turn 'break up sex' into 'surprise make-up sex'
-- Get a make over and remind your 'mate' how 'fucking hot' you are so they will regret 'leaving you'
-- Tell him/her someone really close to you died so they will stay with you through the 'grieving process'
-- Name a 'heavenly body' after your 'lover' so they and the rest of humanity will 'never forget' you/them (not sure if this is actually 'a good idea' or just 'fucking strange as hell')
-- Spend $3000 and buy your 'significant other' an 'I AM CARLES.' tee that Carles will personally deliver to your 'boo's' house. They will either appreciate the gesture/gift or leave you for Carles. I think the latter is slightly more likely
-- Stop being a fucking douchebitch for 'a day or two'
B. McGILLICUDDY
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