8/01/2009

HATING MY B( . )( . )BS, FOLKS

B. McGILLICUDDY

Seems like there are lots of things in life that combine to become 'a blessing' and also 'a curse' at the same time. Hmm.


For example, President Obama. He was a blessing to the Blacks, but a curse to America. Since he has been elected it seems like he 'talks a lot of smack' but doesn't 'really give a shit' about anything, just like when he was running for office. At least that's what my daddy told me. But he's good because The Blacks are 'hella confident' in their race now and will move out of the slums and become an asset to the economy for the first time since the 18th century. My point is that there are things in life that are good and evil at the same time. I feel like 'b00bz' are another good example of this.

Don't really 'get' the purpose of breasts. I just remember back in elementary school when my nips started throbbing and all kinds of weird shit happened to my body pretty much 'all at one time'. It was 'totes awkward'. Feel like 'the process' of acquiring boobs kind of 'threw off' the process of me learning 'how to use them' a little, via them seeming awkward/ugly/pretty small 2 me. But once I got used to 'MY BOOBIES/LADIEZ/TWINS' and 'accepted them as a part of me/my body/my feminine sexualitie', I realized that all the attention I had been getting from boys because of my 'headlights'/training bra/'lil ant hills' could be used to mesmerize and perplex them into 'doing w/e the fuck I wanted them to do'.

I found this photo of some preggers lady's boob on wikipedia.

It's kind of beautiful. It's kind of amazing. It's kind of creepy. I guess I could see how if you weren't 'over-exposed'/'desensitized' to boobs, via having them, they would seem 'pretty sweet' and like something you'd want to touch 'just to see what they felt like'. I bet the first caveman who felt boob and saw the cavebroad's reaction was like 'WTF?' on account of nipples feeling good as hell to rub. I mean, it feels GOOD AS HELL when a guy rubs my nipples the right way. Cavebroad probably said the neanderthal equivalent of 'TAKE ME'.

I was actually thinking about getting a nipple piercing or like a RLY keut tattoo on my boobs to make them 'more fun' or something. I'm really worried about them losing sensitivity/getting infected/getting botched-to-shit somehow though, so I don't know. Would hate to deal with any more 'boob trauma' of any kind really. Kind of don't want to get old and have to deal with them 'getting all saggy' and having to 'move into a "less attractive" phase of my life'. Not sure if I'd be ready to accept it even if it happened


Really worried about becoming 'unattractive' folks. I realize that my boobs could eventually become 'more tragic' than me just losing my ability to 'warp' a guy's concept of reality, but I'm pretty sure I'd rather die than get my 'knockers' amputated because of some bullshit cancer.


H8 having to 'put them away' all the time. SRSLY don't get what 'the big deal' about nips is. It just makes it so I end up having to spend more money on lil outfits and 'boob-covering accessories' like bustiers and bras and bikini tops and even more cute shit to go with that like frilly lil bottoms and leggings and shoes that look good in the leggings and a purse that matches the shoes. Damn. There's just so much expensive/cute stuff. But it's all 'really fucking cute' though.

How do you folks feel about 'tits'/'titties'/breasts? Do you like yours? Do you wish they were bigger/smaller/shaped differently? Seems like there's an app for that. But do you RLY want to put some 'weird lil balloons' inside of your body? 'Jesus'. Would AMERICA exist without boobs???

B. McGILLICUDDY

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