7/08/2009

I AM FACEBOOK FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE I HAVE EVER BEEN 'ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED' WITH EXCEPT ONE DUDE

B. McGILLICUDDY

Here is a list of people who I consider people who I have been 'romantically involved' with including details and qualifiers in parentheses.

A girl who kissed me secretly when I was nine but who I do not consider my first kiss but was convinced I would marry one day and who I 'led to Christ' and whose brother I am still good friends with (Kissed/Fell in love with)

My first 'girlfriend' who I only went out with for twenty minutes and who is engaged to the boyfriend she had right after me (Dated/Rejected/Felt confused about)

A girl who I thought I was in love with during junior high who had a boyfriend and who I had a lot of classes with and who organized my shit for me all through junior high and who I joined the intramural soccer team just to hang out with (Pined for/Stalked/Felt confused about)

A girl who asked me out in junior high who I said no to and who I had Latin class with whose sister I saw early last week while grocery shopping (Rejected/Felt confused about)

A girl who I had a crush on for four years but who does not feel the same as I do who I facebook chat with relatively frequently and who I drew the bulk of my artwork in high school for (Pined for/Fell in love with)

My best friend who is a girl but who I could never marry because she would raise our children Catholic (Kissed/Pined for/Felt confused about)

My first kiss who is also engaged (Kissed)

The first girl I made out with in college after a frat party (Kissed)

A girl who I was friends with in college who exhibited a lot of sexual tension whenever we hung out (Pined for/Spooned with/Felt confused about)

A girl I said 'I want to have sex with you because I want to have sex with you' to who is very nice (Kissed/Stalked/Felt confused about)

A girl who I fingered once in my dorm room after watching 'Troy' after Thanksgiving Break who is in a sorority and who I almost gave my virginity to but didn't because she didn't want to 'make a mistake' since I didn't have any condoms (Kissed/Fingered/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with)

A girl who I dated briefly who is in a sorority and who I wrote a song for (Kissed/Dated)

A girl from the UK who was on her period but who I kind of fingered anyway (Pined for/Kissed/Fingered)

A girl who I felt 'love at first sight' for but who rejected me and avoided me after I told her but agreed to 'be my muse' for a while who I wrote a pretty good song for/about (Fell in love with/Stalked)

A dude who drunkenly convinced me to come back with him to his apartment and who drunk dialed me for a month because I wouldn't 'hang out' with him (Kissed/Rejected)

A girl who I stalked briefly because I did not know how to approach her and who I wrote my first sceenplay about/for (Stalked/Pined for/Spooned with)

The girl who I gave my virginity to and who I still have a subconscious attachment to (Had sex with/Pined for/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with)

A dude who I had a pretty long 'bromance' with while we were fucking other people and who hooked up with a long series of girls I really wanted to hook up with but did not have enough 'game' to approach properly and who I wrote a screen play about/for (Felt confused about)

A girl who my college roommate had sex with (Dated/Kissed/Performed cunnilingus on/Had sex with/Spooned with)

Another girl who my college roommate had sex with (Kissed/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on)

The previous two girls' mutual acquaintance (Kissed/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on/Felt confused about)

A girl who my roommate wanted to have sex with and who is absolutely physically enchanting and from a country I hadn't heard of until I met her (Kissed/Had sex with/Fell in love with)

A girl who was a virgin and who insisted on staying a virgin so I stopped hooking up with her (Kissed)

A girl from Brazil who seems to have a complicated love life according to facebook (Kissed)

My first 'real girlfriend' who I am writing a novel for/about (Dated/Stalked/Pined for/Fell in love with/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with/Rejected/Felt confused about)

A girl who has a distinct and very pleasant smell who I think is adorable and talented and who I miss intensely (Kissed/Spooned with/Fell in love with/Fingered/Felt confused about)

A girl who talks 'too much' about sex who I smoked marijuana with in Georgetown once and who I miss intensely (Pined for/Felt confused about)

A girl who I have a big crush on but who I am hiding it from but who I told once drunkenly in public 'I have a huge crush on you' at her ex-boyfriend's house while he was there and who I saw randomly with her family after watching 'Star Trek' (Felt confused about)

The 'bromance' guy's sister who I walked around Washinton D.C. with for an entire day and who I definitely should have kissed but didn't (Fell in love with)

A girl who was 'in a relationship' with the girl who 'talks "too much" about sex' on facebook and who I flirt with online frequently (Felt confused about)

Myself who I romanticize constantly but who I feel extremely alienated by because he would rather be romantically involved with someone more attractive (Fell in love with/Felt confused about/Gave a handjob to)

If my decision to document this results in generally negative emotions I think I will remove it or maybe just take out specific parts of it.

B. McGILLICUDDY

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