B. McGILLICUDDY
My gf and I have been through some pretty hard times. She has cheated on my twice when 'blackout', my uncle who I was very close to died a couple months ago, we had a little pregnancy scare, maybe two, but through it all, we have been there for each other when we 'really needed it'. Seems like there is little more we could ask for in life. We are happy. This year is going great.
Her birthday is coming up soon. Don't know what to get her. Seems like she 'has everything'. All the 'sweet' albums she's been anticipating all year have come out and are available via 'peer-to-peer pirating', we have watched 'Bruno', 'Funny People' and 'A Woman is a Woman' (at the local drive-in) and I have bought/made her 'tones of random cute shit' over the years to the point where I'm 'out of ideas'.
Damn. Feeling kind of 'inadequate' as a bf. Don't think birthday sex will 'be enough' for her this year. I don't think she's into any 'kinky shit', so sex toys are probably a bad idea. Fuuuuuccck. Just want to 'make her happy'/'keep her happy'. Don't really know what 'does it for her' anymore.
What do you folks think? Seems like a serious issue. What if she leaves me because I don't 'pleasure' her like she wants/give her orgasms anymore? I feel like I'm 'freaking out' and like I might have an anxiety attack that I may not recover from. Wonder if she'd think it was cute if I named a star after her or something. Damn. Feeling 'pretty fucked' folks.
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/30/2009
BLOG POST ADVOCATING FIDELITY
B. McGILLICUDDY
Seems like blind, relentless advocation for fidelity is OK. Can't think of an instance when cheating or 'splitting up' for the purpose of 'sexing some other person' ever turned out well for anyone in the movies/in print/irl. Also though, seems like 'telling people how to live their lives' is a 'counter-productive' objective to pursue. Damn. Wasn't actually aware that I felt this way. Damn. Brad and Angelina seem OK. Is this true? Do they exist? Jesus. This blog post seems completely useless now. Feels like I should go 'save' some broad who is dating a douchebag by 'seducing her away from the bro' for the purpose of 'fixing' her. Seems like it might 'blow up in my face' or something though. Like, what if he is a psychotic homocidalbro? What will I have gotten myself into? Might explain why they're still dating via threats/beatings/Stockholm Syndrome.
Not sure if I enjoyed listening to this song. Seems 'overly-melodramatic' or something. Feel like emotions like the one this song makes me feel are 'over the top' and don't really exist in the context of the human experience or outside of this 'genre' of 'rock', and maybe like bros who listen to this music are 'pretty emo' and likely to be 'easily seduced' by someone morbid, like a goth or 'true blood' fan or something and maybe 'lash out' for no apparent reason against 'broads' because of some 'deep-seated issue' or something. Even though Muse doesn't seem to 'take themselves too seriously', seems like their music and people who listen to their music seem to 'take themselves very seriously' but 'staunch' their facial expressions so as not to seem 'too emo'. Seems like it's OK to cheat on a person who enjoys listening to Muse, but like maybe it 'could get violent' if they ever found out. Jennifer Aniston listens to Muse.
Feels like I just pulled that paragraph 'out of my ass'. I am going to write another one.
I feel like Incubus might appeal to the lower end of the American emobros who listen to Muse, because they talk about how things 'feel' in a context that seems to 'stand apart' from 'real life experiences' as an 'escape' or something, for people who have to 'put their real feelings away' during the day, but then can go home and just 'chillax' to emorock and 'not give a fuck' about anything and maybe cry a little. Love hurts y'all. Kind of can't believe that rock music like this is 'still being produced' after the advent of indie music 'going totes mainstream' via MGMT, Kings of Leon, The Dodos, etc. since indie bands seem 'sarcastically emo' or something, in a way that is 'more about the music'. While Incubros seem to care about 'their music', seems they are just 'doing gigs'/'trying to feel something y'all' and not 'loving life' really. Where are their gfs? They seem like they would 'commit suicide' if they found out they were being cheated on or something. All of them. Damn. Touring doesn't seem very conducive to fidelity.
I really liked the Dodos and had a 'meaningful show experience' with them during college. Then they released their second album and I 'went fucking apeshit' and decided they were my 'favorite band'. Then they sold out to Miller for some 'royalties' or something. I was thinking of 'cheating on' them with 'The Dirty Projectors', but I think that I'll stay 'faithful' and still tell people that 'Visiter' is my favorite album ever, and not 'Bitte Orca', on principle I guess.
Have you ever cheated before?
What was it like?
Was it 'worth it'?
Did it turn into a 'more meaningful relationship' than the ex-bf/gf you 'cheated on'?
This is a metaphor about 'keeping ur dick in your panties'.
B. McGILLICUDDY
Seems like blind, relentless advocation for fidelity is OK. Can't think of an instance when cheating or 'splitting up' for the purpose of 'sexing some other person' ever turned out well for anyone in the movies/in print/irl. Also though, seems like 'telling people how to live their lives' is a 'counter-productive' objective to pursue. Damn. Wasn't actually aware that I felt this way. Damn. Brad and Angelina seem OK. Is this true? Do they exist? Jesus. This blog post seems completely useless now. Feels like I should go 'save' some broad who is dating a douchebag by 'seducing her away from the bro' for the purpose of 'fixing' her. Seems like it might 'blow up in my face' or something though. Like, what if he is a psychotic homocidalbro? What will I have gotten myself into? Might explain why they're still dating via threats/beatings/Stockholm Syndrome.
Not sure if I enjoyed listening to this song. Seems 'overly-melodramatic' or something. Feel like emotions like the one this song makes me feel are 'over the top' and don't really exist in the context of the human experience or outside of this 'genre' of 'rock', and maybe like bros who listen to this music are 'pretty emo' and likely to be 'easily seduced' by someone morbid, like a goth or 'true blood' fan or something and maybe 'lash out' for no apparent reason against 'broads' because of some 'deep-seated issue' or something. Even though Muse doesn't seem to 'take themselves too seriously', seems like their music and people who listen to their music seem to 'take themselves very seriously' but 'staunch' their facial expressions so as not to seem 'too emo'. Seems like it's OK to cheat on a person who enjoys listening to Muse, but like maybe it 'could get violent' if they ever found out. Jennifer Aniston listens to Muse.
Feels like I just pulled that paragraph 'out of my ass'. I am going to write another one.
I feel like Incubus might appeal to the lower end of the American emobros who listen to Muse, because they talk about how things 'feel' in a context that seems to 'stand apart' from 'real life experiences' as an 'escape' or something, for people who have to 'put their real feelings away' during the day, but then can go home and just 'chillax' to emorock and 'not give a fuck' about anything and maybe cry a little. Love hurts y'all. Kind of can't believe that rock music like this is 'still being produced' after the advent of indie music 'going totes mainstream' via MGMT, Kings of Leon, The Dodos, etc. since indie bands seem 'sarcastically emo' or something, in a way that is 'more about the music'. While Incubros seem to care about 'their music', seems they are just 'doing gigs'/'trying to feel something y'all' and not 'loving life' really. Where are their gfs? They seem like they would 'commit suicide' if they found out they were being cheated on or something. All of them. Damn. Touring doesn't seem very conducive to fidelity.
I really liked the Dodos and had a 'meaningful show experience' with them during college. Then they released their second album and I 'went fucking apeshit' and decided they were my 'favorite band'. Then they sold out to Miller for some 'royalties' or something. I was thinking of 'cheating on' them with 'The Dirty Projectors', but I think that I'll stay 'faithful' and still tell people that 'Visiter' is my favorite album ever, and not 'Bitte Orca', on principle I guess.
Have you ever cheated before?
What was it like?
Was it 'worth it'?
Did it turn into a 'more meaningful relationship' than the ex-bf/gf you 'cheated on'?
This is a metaphor about 'keeping ur dick in your panties'.
B. McGILLICUDDY
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
B. McGILLICUDDY
I met a boy about a week-and-a-half ago while I was off work from my job at Pizza Hut inside of the local strip mall. He walked past me and even though there were at least fifteen other girls on my side of the sidewalk and maybe five of them were as cute, if not cuter than me, he stopped and said 'You have really pretty eyes'. I blushed, I have to admit. I thanked him and tried to keep walking toward the CVS to buy some tampons (my period started that day in the middle of a big order. It sucked), but he stopped me and asked me my name. He said some funny things and smiled a lot and was pretty cute, with hazel eyes. I am a sucker for hazel eyes. He was about 5-to-6 inches taller than me and kept putting his hand on my arm and shoulder while he talked. It seemed weird at first, but he was really nice and kept complimenting me. I was in a hurry (fuuuuuuuucckkkk) but I didn't want to just LEAVE, so I stood and fidgeted to signal to him that I had to go. He understood and quickly asked me if he could have my phone number, I said yes and gave it to him, I didn't know what else to do. He was cute.
He called me three days later around 9pm just as I was getting on the bus to go home from work. I talked with him all the way to my house and into the middle of the night. We talked about a lot of stuff. Eventually he asked me if he could come see me at work. I told him 'only if you're dying for a calzone'. It made him laugh. The next day, he never showed. At first I thought I was crazy for even expecting him to, but then when I got home and tried to do some chores I started spacing out a lot and wishing he would call me. It was weird. I don't usually like guys this quickly.
After a couple of hours I decided to watch some TV to get him off of my mind, but then he called just as I was picking up the remote! He asked me what I was doing and I told him I was about to watch TV. He asked me which show and said that he would watch TV with me through the phone! Hehe. It was really cute. We spent the night watching movies on AMC and laughing non-stop the whole time, even though they were dramas. We just kept making fun of them! He asked me if he could see me the next day, which was my day off. I told him 'sure'. He said that he would get me something nice to go with my beautiful eyes, and he remembered that they were 'ice blue'. I blushed and smiled over the phone. I felt sooooo ridiculous!
The next day he came to my house and brought me flowers! Blue azaleas! They were amazing. He also brought my favorite movie, 'Shang Hai Noon', because I told him I loved Owen Wilson! (OMG <3333!!!) We cuddled on the couch while we watched it. Eventually we started kissing. It was so spontaneous and he is a really good kisser! During some parts of making out it seemed like he was moving too fast though, because he started touching my pussy. I didn't like it. I mean, it felt good, but I'm not a slut. But I mean, I do like him, so I guess it seemed okay, but I was still...you know...(fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck) so I shoved him off. He stopped trying to touch my pussy after that, but as soon as the movie was over he stopped kissing me too and said he had to go. I tried to convince him to stay, but he seemed really determined. It seemed like a dick move to me, but I mean, he is A GUY. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on him.
I am supposed to go with him on a date downtown later this week. He has a car and I honestly don't know what to expect. What should I do if he tries to play with me again? While we're parked somewhere or when he brings me home? Should I have sex with him? I don't know. I broke up with my last boyfriend around six months ago and have mostly been working since then. I guess I could use a good lay. But I think I have feelings for him too sort of. It all just seems to be happening kind of fast. I felt his dick when we were cuddling. I'd guess it at 6-8 inches. IDK.
B. McGILLICUDDY
I met a boy about a week-and-a-half ago while I was off work from my job at Pizza Hut inside of the local strip mall. He walked past me and even though there were at least fifteen other girls on my side of the sidewalk and maybe five of them were as cute, if not cuter than me, he stopped and said 'You have really pretty eyes'. I blushed, I have to admit. I thanked him and tried to keep walking toward the CVS to buy some tampons (my period started that day in the middle of a big order. It sucked), but he stopped me and asked me my name. He said some funny things and smiled a lot and was pretty cute, with hazel eyes. I am a sucker for hazel eyes. He was about 5-to-6 inches taller than me and kept putting his hand on my arm and shoulder while he talked. It seemed weird at first, but he was really nice and kept complimenting me. I was in a hurry (fuuuuuuuucckkkk) but I didn't want to just LEAVE, so I stood and fidgeted to signal to him that I had to go. He understood and quickly asked me if he could have my phone number, I said yes and gave it to him, I didn't know what else to do. He was cute.
He called me three days later around 9pm just as I was getting on the bus to go home from work. I talked with him all the way to my house and into the middle of the night. We talked about a lot of stuff. Eventually he asked me if he could come see me at work. I told him 'only if you're dying for a calzone'. It made him laugh. The next day, he never showed. At first I thought I was crazy for even expecting him to, but then when I got home and tried to do some chores I started spacing out a lot and wishing he would call me. It was weird. I don't usually like guys this quickly.
After a couple of hours I decided to watch some TV to get him off of my mind, but then he called just as I was picking up the remote! He asked me what I was doing and I told him I was about to watch TV. He asked me which show and said that he would watch TV with me through the phone! Hehe. It was really cute. We spent the night watching movies on AMC and laughing non-stop the whole time, even though they were dramas. We just kept making fun of them! He asked me if he could see me the next day, which was my day off. I told him 'sure'. He said that he would get me something nice to go with my beautiful eyes, and he remembered that they were 'ice blue'. I blushed and smiled over the phone. I felt sooooo ridiculous!
The next day he came to my house and brought me flowers! Blue azaleas! They were amazing. He also brought my favorite movie, 'Shang Hai Noon', because I told him I loved Owen Wilson! (OMG <3333!!!) We cuddled on the couch while we watched it. Eventually we started kissing. It was so spontaneous and he is a really good kisser! During some parts of making out it seemed like he was moving too fast though, because he started touching my pussy. I didn't like it. I mean, it felt good, but I'm not a slut. But I mean, I do like him, so I guess it seemed okay, but I was still...you know...(fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck) so I shoved him off. He stopped trying to touch my pussy after that, but as soon as the movie was over he stopped kissing me too and said he had to go. I tried to convince him to stay, but he seemed really determined. It seemed like a dick move to me, but I mean, he is A GUY. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on him.
I am supposed to go with him on a date downtown later this week. He has a car and I honestly don't know what to expect. What should I do if he tries to play with me again? While we're parked somewhere or when he brings me home? Should I have sex with him? I don't know. I broke up with my last boyfriend around six months ago and have mostly been working since then. I guess I could use a good lay. But I think I have feelings for him too sort of. It all just seems to be happening kind of fast. I felt his dick when we were cuddling. I'd guess it at 6-8 inches. IDK.
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/29/2009
MMMMM, BABIES
B. McGILLICUDDY
Since having unprotected sex comes with 'hella consequences', but I know that me and my 'fuck bunny' are both STD-less, I've been doing a lot of thinking about 'babies' and 'giving birth'/reproduction/'giving life' to 'lil humans'.
Seems fucked. feels like 'voluntary procreation' might be 'the most selfish and irresponsible thing that a human being could conceivably do to another human being'. Kind of feel like it 'trumps' suicide, since death is scary for the 'victim' and doesn't make other things that will eventually become 'self-aware' and die 'magically appear'.
Damn y'all. Everybody dies. I don't know 'the numbers' on how many people have to 'live through their own deaths', but I think I 'get' why dying in your sleep seems like the most desirable way to experience 'the ultimate breakdown'. Seems like dying in the middle of a nightmare would feel 'scary and fleeting' but ultimately distract you from an 'unimaginable and highly conclusive' 'horror'. Regardless, if you 'bring a person into the world', you are essentially 'dooming' them to a life of fear and anxiety regarding a terrible and ultimately fucked end to his/her life.
I think that all 'transcendental worldviews' hold the belief that death is not the 'end' of the human experience, but there is the variable of 'where does everybody go?' to worry about. If your 'karma' is 'good', you are 'reincarnated' as a 'higher being'. If you accept 'Jesus Christ' as your 'Lord and Savior' you are 'destined' for 'Heaven'. Damn. Seems like I could give 'a shitload of examples' like this, but these scare quotes are 'pissing me off'.
Seems like even if you 'raise' a kid to be a 'lil version of yourself' they will eventually become 'self-aware' and start doing whatever the fuck they want. This potentially includes voluntarily ignoring your take on the world and dying 'how he/she feels like dying' and doing it 'poorly' according to your opinions of 'how u should live/die/treat other people' among other life issues.
Seems like broads are chemically 'programmed' to want to have babies, and the social 'expectation' regarding 'having a family' makes the idea of making babies enticing to both sexes. But babies are 'creepy'. They are 'evolutionarily designed' to make us forget that they are creepy, but it seems like they're frighteningly unpredictable, relatively unresponsive little humans, for the most part, who are 'dependent' on your sanity for survival. Eventually they will resent your influence and will make the same 'mistakes' you made by creating their own 'worldviews', and will procreate too. What is the purpose of putting yourself and some 'potential fuck-up' through the trauma of having to 'deal with' each other?
Personally, I'm really looking forward to 'having kids' y'all. Primarily because 'the prospect' of cumming in a broad I 'love' to make her temporarily happy/'satisfied with her life' seems enticing, but I also have a fascination with what a cute 'chica'/slut/clingy psychopath and I would do to/with/for/against funny lil replicas of ourselves. Maybe we'd start a family band and call it 'Buttercup and the McGillicuddies'. Might have kids with a bunch of different women who don't like each other and make them form a Broken Family Band cover band.
What do y'all think about babies? If you're 'a pussy' and don't want to leave your opinion as a comment, you can vote your thoughts into public opinion quickly and anonymously via the 'so sweet/meh/seems fucked' box.
B. McGILLICUDDY
Since having unprotected sex comes with 'hella consequences', but I know that me and my 'fuck bunny' are both STD-less, I've been doing a lot of thinking about 'babies' and 'giving birth'/reproduction/'giving life' to 'lil humans'.
Seems fucked. feels like 'voluntary procreation' might be 'the most selfish and irresponsible thing that a human being could conceivably do to another human being'. Kind of feel like it 'trumps' suicide, since death is scary for the 'victim' and doesn't make other things that will eventually become 'self-aware' and die 'magically appear'.
Damn y'all. Everybody dies. I don't know 'the numbers' on how many people have to 'live through their own deaths', but I think I 'get' why dying in your sleep seems like the most desirable way to experience 'the ultimate breakdown'. Seems like dying in the middle of a nightmare would feel 'scary and fleeting' but ultimately distract you from an 'unimaginable and highly conclusive' 'horror'. Regardless, if you 'bring a person into the world', you are essentially 'dooming' them to a life of fear and anxiety regarding a terrible and ultimately fucked end to his/her life.
I think that all 'transcendental worldviews' hold the belief that death is not the 'end' of the human experience, but there is the variable of 'where does everybody go?' to worry about. If your 'karma' is 'good', you are 'reincarnated' as a 'higher being'. If you accept 'Jesus Christ' as your 'Lord and Savior' you are 'destined' for 'Heaven'. Damn. Seems like I could give 'a shitload of examples' like this, but these scare quotes are 'pissing me off'.
Seems like even if you 'raise' a kid to be a 'lil version of yourself' they will eventually become 'self-aware' and start doing whatever the fuck they want. This potentially includes voluntarily ignoring your take on the world and dying 'how he/she feels like dying' and doing it 'poorly' according to your opinions of 'how u should live/die/treat other people' among other life issues.
Seems like broads are chemically 'programmed' to want to have babies, and the social 'expectation' regarding 'having a family' makes the idea of making babies enticing to both sexes. But babies are 'creepy'. They are 'evolutionarily designed' to make us forget that they are creepy, but it seems like they're frighteningly unpredictable, relatively unresponsive little humans, for the most part, who are 'dependent' on your sanity for survival. Eventually they will resent your influence and will make the same 'mistakes' you made by creating their own 'worldviews', and will procreate too. What is the purpose of putting yourself and some 'potential fuck-up' through the trauma of having to 'deal with' each other?
Personally, I'm really looking forward to 'having kids' y'all. Primarily because 'the prospect' of cumming in a broad I 'love' to make her temporarily happy/'satisfied with her life' seems enticing, but I also have a fascination with what a cute 'chica'/slut/clingy psychopath and I would do to/with/for/against funny lil replicas of ourselves. Maybe we'd start a family band and call it 'Buttercup and the McGillicuddies'. Might have kids with a bunch of different women who don't like each other and make them form a Broken Family Band cover band.
What do y'all think about babies? If you're 'a pussy' and don't want to leave your opinion as a comment, you can vote your thoughts into public opinion quickly and anonymously via the 'so sweet/meh/seems fucked' box.
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/27/2009
PEOPLE GET TOGETHER FOR REASONS
B. McGILLICUDDY
I want all of the women I have ever had sex with
To get married and have eleven natural births each
And for me to never meet another woman ever
Who is not legally obligated to one human penis
So that I can die relatively happy
Knowing that I am entirely unsatisfactory
As a long-term acquaintance
Because I am entirely unsatisfied
With the current state of my life
Being alone everywhere
I want to meet a strange woman
Who only likes beautiful things on the internet
And is emotionally uncompromising
And who thinks that humans are extremely basic systems
And that she is not a human
But a space monster and secondhand cyborg
And who thinks that I am completely unsatisfactory
In everything
Except cultivating internet beauty
She will take a photograph of us
At night, inside of the ocean
Where life is everywhere
And while maintaining a neutral facial expression
Force my face under the ocean
Until I am dead
Using her tiny, uncompromising, space monster hands
B. McGILLICUDDY
I want all of the women I have ever had sex with
To get married and have eleven natural births each
And for me to never meet another woman ever
Who is not legally obligated to one human penis
So that I can die relatively happy
Knowing that I am entirely unsatisfactory
As a long-term acquaintance
Because I am entirely unsatisfied
With the current state of my life
Being alone everywhere
I want to meet a strange woman
Who only likes beautiful things on the internet
And is emotionally uncompromising
And who thinks that humans are extremely basic systems
And that she is not a human
But a space monster and secondhand cyborg
And who thinks that I am completely unsatisfactory
In everything
Except cultivating internet beauty
She will take a photograph of us
At night, inside of the ocean
Where life is everywhere
And while maintaining a neutral facial expression
Force my face under the ocean
Until I am dead
Using her tiny, uncompromising, space monster hands
B. McGILLICUDDY
THINKING ABOUT BECOMING A COUPLES/SEX/MARRIAGE COUSELOR
B. McGILLICUDDY
I am considering a profession in 'couple's counseling' guys. Seems like people in relationships don't 'get each other' well enough to 'just be happy' without some sort of mediator who makes sure that they aren't pissing one-another off/getting abusive/not 'putting out' enough or something.
I was just thinking earlier today about how often bros and broads just kind of 'mosey through' relationships and 'wait for it to die' as opposed to trying to perpetuate what it was that brought them together in the first place.
Everyone gets lonely/horny/stressed the fuck out and needs someone to 'be there for them'. So it seems like 'lasting relationships' that are meaningful and 'well-maintained' are a social commodity or something in the 21st century. I feel that my own experiences in relationships generally lean toward being 'good' in the context of the relationship as a whole and think maybe I would be mediocre-to-good and maybe 'great' at telling other people things like 'y'all need to learn to compromise' and 'pay attention to each other's needs' and maybe 'have more sex, it will strengthen your "bond"' or something.
I heard that I could get a degree in psychology in less than three years at my local community college and be well on my way to helping people 'just get along' instead of hating each other and generally 'being bitches/passive-aggressive' before the mid 10's. Seems highly appealing and like couples will 'need help to get along better post-end-of-the-world-scenario' and like I could be what helps 'reinvigorate humanity/the human spirit' via convincing depressed 2012 survivors to procreate/repopulate the world.
Damn. Relationships can be so complex. Seems like 'talking it out' wouldn't do much, but sometimes people just need to 'hear what one-another are thinking' to work out their 'problems' and shit.
B. McGILLICUDDY
I am considering a profession in 'couple's counseling' guys. Seems like people in relationships don't 'get each other' well enough to 'just be happy' without some sort of mediator who makes sure that they aren't pissing one-another off/getting abusive/not 'putting out' enough or something.
I was just thinking earlier today about how often bros and broads just kind of 'mosey through' relationships and 'wait for it to die' as opposed to trying to perpetuate what it was that brought them together in the first place.
Everyone gets lonely/horny/stressed the fuck out and needs someone to 'be there for them'. So it seems like 'lasting relationships' that are meaningful and 'well-maintained' are a social commodity or something in the 21st century. I feel that my own experiences in relationships generally lean toward being 'good' in the context of the relationship as a whole and think maybe I would be mediocre-to-good and maybe 'great' at telling other people things like 'y'all need to learn to compromise' and 'pay attention to each other's needs' and maybe 'have more sex, it will strengthen your "bond"' or something.
I heard that I could get a degree in psychology in less than three years at my local community college and be well on my way to helping people 'just get along' instead of hating each other and generally 'being bitches/passive-aggressive' before the mid 10's. Seems highly appealing and like couples will 'need help to get along better post-end-of-the-world-scenario' and like I could be what helps 'reinvigorate humanity/the human spirit' via convincing depressed 2012 survivors to procreate/repopulate the world.
Damn. Relationships can be so complex. Seems like 'talking it out' wouldn't do much, but sometimes people just need to 'hear what one-another are thinking' to work out their 'problems' and shit.
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/26/2009
DIRTY PROJECTORS SONG 'TWO DOVES'
B. McGILLICUDDY
Via Motel de Moka.
Click post title to download.
Seems like people typically don't 'get' the Dirty Projectors. I feel like I do somehow. This song has been stuck in my head all week and it reminds me of a reverse-roll 'Song of Solomon' or something. Though, of the two female singers in the Dirty Projectors, Angel Deradoorian is not my 'favorite' per se, this song is the one that has the most plays on my iPod of everything off their new album, 'Bitte Orca'. I recommend it.
B. McGILLICUDDY
Via Motel de Moka.
Click post title to download.
Seems like people typically don't 'get' the Dirty Projectors. I feel like I do somehow. This song has been stuck in my head all week and it reminds me of a reverse-roll 'Song of Solomon' or something. Though, of the two female singers in the Dirty Projectors, Angel Deradoorian is not my 'favorite' per se, this song is the one that has the most plays on my iPod of everything off their new album, 'Bitte Orca'. I recommend it.
B. McGILLICUDDY
IRONIC MOVIE-STYLE WEDDING CEREMONY
B. McGILLICUDDY
Reblogged via Carles
@Hipster Runoff
This wedding reminds me that there are 'crazy ass motherfuckers' in the 21st century who are willing to 'make fools of themselves' for the sake of looking adorable. And that this decade has been like no other decade before.
I feel like these people are smiling despite their potentially extreme insecurities and the potentially terrible life decision they are all participating in and are putting on a good face for everybody. Must be Christians :D
What do you guys think of marriage? Are you For it, Don't Give a Damn, or downright AGAINST it?
Vote 'so sweet' a la 'For'
Vote 'meh' a la 'Don't Give a Damn'
Vote 'seems fucked' a la 'AGAINST'
I know I titled this 'IRONIC MOVIE-STYLE WEDDING CEREMONY' but I get the impression, that these people thought this was the greatest idea anybody had had in a long time, and like someone might have taken this very seriously and maybe would have cried/committed suicide if it didn't work out.
What would be your ideal wedding ceremony? Gays, bis, zoophiles and polygamists can comment too! RoRhet is (for now) an equal-opportunity forum where you can discuss how YOU specifically like to pussy-foot around the subject of wanting to have a steady and satisfying means of emotional/sexual/stress release!
B. McGILLICUDDY
Reblogged via Carles
@Hipster Runoff
This wedding reminds me that there are 'crazy ass motherfuckers' in the 21st century who are willing to 'make fools of themselves' for the sake of looking adorable. And that this decade has been like no other decade before.
I feel like these people are smiling despite their potentially extreme insecurities and the potentially terrible life decision they are all participating in and are putting on a good face for everybody. Must be Christians :D
What do you guys think of marriage? Are you For it, Don't Give a Damn, or downright AGAINST it?
Vote 'so sweet' a la 'For'
Vote 'meh' a la 'Don't Give a Damn'
Vote 'seems fucked' a la 'AGAINST'
I know I titled this 'IRONIC MOVIE-STYLE WEDDING CEREMONY' but I get the impression, that these people thought this was the greatest idea anybody had had in a long time, and like someone might have taken this very seriously and maybe would have cried/committed suicide if it didn't work out.
What would be your ideal wedding ceremony? Gays, bis, zoophiles and polygamists can comment too! RoRhet is (for now) an equal-opportunity forum where you can discuss how YOU specifically like to pussy-foot around the subject of wanting to have a steady and satisfying means of emotional/sexual/stress release!
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/25/2009
so gone
Hey I gotta go do some serious things now!
Look for the archive to Romantic Rhetoric one day.
It will be around,
it will be sweet.
so i guess my writing is shit eh?
I don't believe it, you might, but you probably have half a brain.
Don't worry
Buttercup will be here to keep you entertained.
FLOYD
Look for the archive to Romantic Rhetoric one day.
It will be around,
it will be sweet.
so i guess my writing is shit eh?
I don't believe it, you might, but you probably have half a brain.
Don't worry
Buttercup will be here to keep you entertained.
FLOYD
7/13/2009
A NEVER-ENDING MOONBUTT
B. McGILLICUDDY
'You talk a goddamn awful lot, Priscilla.' Johnny said with a buck-toothed grin on his goofy face that was as sincere as the day is long.
'I am sleeping with Gerard Harrelson, Johnny.' said Priscilla. 'I am sleeping with him as we speak.'
Johnny's facial expression warped into a what an extremely apathetic Chinese dragon's face might look like if it were real and were an angry, inbred Appalachian boy who had just heard his girlfriend was fucking Gerard Harrelson.
'Shut up.' Johnny said and killed this Priscilla and thousands of other Priscillas in a violent Priscilla-murdering rampage.
'I will not shut up.' said Priscilla from outside of Johnny's homicidal fantasy. 'I am breaking up with you. I am breaking up with you because you are a sour lay. We have lost our sexual chemistry and there is no denying that I am sleeping with Gerard Harrellson right now so goodbye.'
She picked up her picnic basket and her tuna fish sandwich and walked by herself all the way from the grassy knoll overlooking the calming, pastel sunset to town to Gerard Harrellson's house and texted him that she was outside. Gerard opened the door.
'Hello Priscilla.'
'Hello Gerard.'
'Did you decide to buy that 24 piece dinette set I offered you half-off?' he asked.
'I am here to fuck you.' she replied.
'I have a living to make Priscilla. It seems to me that making livings and shagging all day seem to me to be diametrical in opposition. You gonna buy the damn plates and utensils or aren't you?'
'Jesus Christ will save your soul.' A passing old spinster said.
'She's right.' Gerard conceded. 'C'mon in here so you can fuck me.'
Priscilla turned and walked away with a look of intense satisfaction on her face. She talked to herself maniacally the whole way home. Some of the phrases she uttered included 'I ain't teaching them coons no HTML', 'won't you just look at those assfucking Alaskans', and 'I am a beautiful and never-ending moonbutt'.
Johnny dove into Paddock Pond that night and never came back up.
B. McGILLICUDDY
'You talk a goddamn awful lot, Priscilla.' Johnny said with a buck-toothed grin on his goofy face that was as sincere as the day is long.
'I am sleeping with Gerard Harrelson, Johnny.' said Priscilla. 'I am sleeping with him as we speak.'
Johnny's facial expression warped into a what an extremely apathetic Chinese dragon's face might look like if it were real and were an angry, inbred Appalachian boy who had just heard his girlfriend was fucking Gerard Harrelson.
'Shut up.' Johnny said and killed this Priscilla and thousands of other Priscillas in a violent Priscilla-murdering rampage.
'I will not shut up.' said Priscilla from outside of Johnny's homicidal fantasy. 'I am breaking up with you. I am breaking up with you because you are a sour lay. We have lost our sexual chemistry and there is no denying that I am sleeping with Gerard Harrellson right now so goodbye.'
She picked up her picnic basket and her tuna fish sandwich and walked by herself all the way from the grassy knoll overlooking the calming, pastel sunset to town to Gerard Harrellson's house and texted him that she was outside. Gerard opened the door.
'Hello Priscilla.'
'Hello Gerard.'
'Did you decide to buy that 24 piece dinette set I offered you half-off?' he asked.
'I am here to fuck you.' she replied.
'I have a living to make Priscilla. It seems to me that making livings and shagging all day seem to me to be diametrical in opposition. You gonna buy the damn plates and utensils or aren't you?'
'Jesus Christ will save your soul.' A passing old spinster said.
'She's right.' Gerard conceded. 'C'mon in here so you can fuck me.'
Priscilla turned and walked away with a look of intense satisfaction on her face. She talked to herself maniacally the whole way home. Some of the phrases she uttered included 'I ain't teaching them coons no HTML', 'won't you just look at those assfucking Alaskans', and 'I am a beautiful and never-ending moonbutt'.
Johnny dove into Paddock Pond that night and never came back up.
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/10/2009
THIS
B. McGILLICUDDY
I am in a fucked state of existence. Also I'm pretty convinced that I am even more so existentially fucked. Jesus Christ. Is my brain 'broken'? What the shit does J. J. Abrams want from me? What is it that you want from me J. J. Abrams? My money? I'm poor. I can't give you money. I have nothing to give to you.
I am convinced that as a person gets older they develop a potentially infinite capacity for subjecting themselves to retarded thinking. Senility is the final phase of this. But people are basically stupid and do things stupidly and are considered by me to lack the synapses needed to become worthy of non-existential acknowledgement in a concrete reality once they have reached their early twenties. After a person's early twenties only secondary and tertiary interfaces that can hide their stupidity should be used for actual communication i.e. programs on the internet and the programs that act as proxies for other programs on the internet.
I don't like putting people in groups. This kind of shows that I am existentially fucked and that I am stupid because people put themselves into groups sometimes. Why would I deny them this? I don't know. Maybe I'm not denying anybody anything. But I don't like putting people into groups. Groups are fun sometimes I guess. I don't know. 'Star Trek' was made for 'a group' of people who recently stopped thinking. They stopped thinking and only remember. I never want to put myself into this group. Remembering is only good if you weren't old enough to remember what you trying to remember. This is OK and is called 'history' or something. 'History' is good when it is made by people who lie interestingly.
My parents liked 'Star Trek'. I asked them if they liked it and they said 'We liked it' and smiled. I didn't like it. When I watched it I felt insane outrageous emotions and realized that I was part of the demographic that the movie targeted and this caused even more outrageous emotions.
Did you read the story I posted before this? This takes place the day after that story. No bullshit. 'This' is tomorrow.
No one in my family wanted to see 'Star Trek'. I had to be extremely convincing to get them to go together. I was extremely convincing and we drove to a theater. I walked leisurely up the stairs in the theater and found where I wanted to sit. I turned to my sister and said 'This is where I want to sit. Is it okay that I want to sit here?' 'I don't care' she said. I changed my mind 'Is it okay if we sit one row back?' I asked. 'I still don't care' said my sister. I was very excited. I wanted to see this movie.
My parents sat somewhere else. I remember when I was little they would laugh uncontrollably for hours talking about 'Star Trek' and then we would watch 'Star Trek: Next Generation' together on television and I would fall asleep. Then other things would happen and 'Star Trek' would come up in conversations or something. I think I'm done telling this story now. I'm bored of it and forgot the beginning and don't feel like rereading it.
You were there, after 'Star Trek'. You waved and smiled and stuff. It was amazing. I was afraid because I remembered that I said things drunkenly to you the day before and was confused about my thoughts about having done that but not in a bad way. Then I became afraid because I thought that it was very unlikely that I would ever see you again because I did not expect you to be affiliated with anybody I knew. But you were. This has no point. I am still existentially fucked. I thought 'I should make an effort and like do something to show that I was amazed. How do you show someone you are amazed and perplexed while maintaining an neutral facial expression. What is going on. There are penguins on my television. So many penguins.
'This' is the sequel to 'It'. Are there words that go well with this? Is there a theme? I can't tell. I don't think I will edit this at all. Will I review this at all? Are there spelling errors? I don't know. I feel severely depressed I think because I have used the pronoun 'I' so many times in what is supposed to be a first person fiction. First person fiction should use 'I' minimally to appear descriptive and complex and not stupid. Why am I writing this? I am going to bed. 'This' is going to be shitty. Shit this.
B. McGILLICUDDY
I am in a fucked state of existence. Also I'm pretty convinced that I am even more so existentially fucked. Jesus Christ. Is my brain 'broken'? What the shit does J. J. Abrams want from me? What is it that you want from me J. J. Abrams? My money? I'm poor. I can't give you money. I have nothing to give to you.
I am convinced that as a person gets older they develop a potentially infinite capacity for subjecting themselves to retarded thinking. Senility is the final phase of this. But people are basically stupid and do things stupidly and are considered by me to lack the synapses needed to become worthy of non-existential acknowledgement in a concrete reality once they have reached their early twenties. After a person's early twenties only secondary and tertiary interfaces that can hide their stupidity should be used for actual communication i.e. programs on the internet and the programs that act as proxies for other programs on the internet.
I don't like putting people in groups. This kind of shows that I am existentially fucked and that I am stupid because people put themselves into groups sometimes. Why would I deny them this? I don't know. Maybe I'm not denying anybody anything. But I don't like putting people into groups. Groups are fun sometimes I guess. I don't know. 'Star Trek' was made for 'a group' of people who recently stopped thinking. They stopped thinking and only remember. I never want to put myself into this group. Remembering is only good if you weren't old enough to remember what you trying to remember. This is OK and is called 'history' or something. 'History' is good when it is made by people who lie interestingly.
My parents liked 'Star Trek'. I asked them if they liked it and they said 'We liked it' and smiled. I didn't like it. When I watched it I felt insane outrageous emotions and realized that I was part of the demographic that the movie targeted and this caused even more outrageous emotions.
Did you read the story I posted before this? This takes place the day after that story. No bullshit. 'This' is tomorrow.
No one in my family wanted to see 'Star Trek'. I had to be extremely convincing to get them to go together. I was extremely convincing and we drove to a theater. I walked leisurely up the stairs in the theater and found where I wanted to sit. I turned to my sister and said 'This is where I want to sit. Is it okay that I want to sit here?' 'I don't care' she said. I changed my mind 'Is it okay if we sit one row back?' I asked. 'I still don't care' said my sister. I was very excited. I wanted to see this movie.
My parents sat somewhere else. I remember when I was little they would laugh uncontrollably for hours talking about 'Star Trek' and then we would watch 'Star Trek: Next Generation' together on television and I would fall asleep. Then other things would happen and 'Star Trek' would come up in conversations or something. I think I'm done telling this story now. I'm bored of it and forgot the beginning and don't feel like rereading it.
You were there, after 'Star Trek'. You waved and smiled and stuff. It was amazing. I was afraid because I remembered that I said things drunkenly to you the day before and was confused about my thoughts about having done that but not in a bad way. Then I became afraid because I thought that it was very unlikely that I would ever see you again because I did not expect you to be affiliated with anybody I knew. But you were. This has no point. I am still existentially fucked. I thought 'I should make an effort and like do something to show that I was amazed. How do you show someone you are amazed and perplexed while maintaining an neutral facial expression. What is going on. There are penguins on my television. So many penguins.
'This' is the sequel to 'It'. Are there words that go well with this? Is there a theme? I can't tell. I don't think I will edit this at all. Will I review this at all? Are there spelling errors? I don't know. I feel severely depressed I think because I have used the pronoun 'I' so many times in what is supposed to be a first person fiction. First person fiction should use 'I' minimally to appear descriptive and complex and not stupid. Why am I writing this? I am going to bed. 'This' is going to be shitty. Shit this.
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/09/2009
IT
B. McGILLICUDDY
It. 'It' was a party in your ex-boyfriend's basement. There were bands playing. There were musicians in the bands. The bands were made up of a bunch of my friends who don't really practice playing instruments at all but saw instruments in your ex-boyfriend's basement and said 'Let's have a jam session' and started playing the instruments.
It was loud. It was loud and unmusical. The drummer kept a beat and I danced to it. I was drunk. It was emotional form me, dancing to the beat the drummer kept. I am Black. Damn. Maybe this had something to do with it. I was very drunk.
I saw you dancing and decided that we should dance together. Your ex-boyfriend was dancing with you. I put my hand around your arm and solicited a dance with you and smiled and you smiled and we danced together. I was drunk and looked at your face while we danced and imagined that there was an incredible light shining from the sky down on your face and it was beautiful. There was a light on the ceiling with an incandescent light bulb in it and it was shining directly on your face and it made you sparkle. You were sparkling. I felt emotional about you sparkling beautifully.
Fuck 'Twilight' and the idea of vampirism. You aren't a vampire. You are a girl. With emotions. I wondered what emotions you felt. Maybe you are a vampire. Maybe you feel no emotions. I will never be able to find this out.
I was overwhelmed with emotions that were coming from everywhere including Bulgaria and Mainland China and I took your face in my hands and said 'This is too much. This is too good. You are beautiful. I have a crush on you. I have to go.' Your ex-boyfriend looked at me and stopped dancing. This is when I realized he was your ex-boyfriend I think. 'I can't be here anymore' I said. I don't know why I said this. It was the emotions. 'I have a crush on you and I can't be here. I have to go now.' You smiled amazingly and I ran away.
I ran up the stairs. I ran through the kitchen and the lounge. I ran there. 'There' is the smoking room. The smoking room is the porch at your ex-boyfriends house. There are chairs and a table and there are usually people.
There were some people.
I was out of cigarettes. I asked everyone for cigarettes. A bro gave me a cigarette and I could see that the aura of the bro sitting next to him was purple. I told him this. 'What a purple aura you have, bro' I said. He was amused by this. I don't believe in auras. I just write stories and draw things sometimes.
I lit the cigarette. I turned around and you came into the smoking room with your ex-boyfriend. 'Hi' I said. You waved and smiled amazingly and looked beautiful in the dark too. Beautiful and smooth and I was overwhelmed and had to sit down. There was a beer in my hand. I drank all of it. I don't remember what happened after that at all. For the rest of the night my memory centers retained zero information.
What is 'a coincidence'? I am not sure. This paragraph is a preface to another story and is set in an illogical manner directly before the last paragraph of this story. Do not be confused.
I woke up the next morning on a couch in an apartment that was not rented by me. I was severely confused and almost went completely bonkers here. At this moment. In this story. There was a used condom on the couch. I felt an insane amount of emotion. I felt the entire universe converge and warp silently onto itself in the desolation of that moment and knew that I was alive and afraid and felt outrageous insane emotions. I didn't like it. I tried to remember things. I remembered you and felt 'amazing'. I thought 'why is there a condom on this couch' and went home.
B. McGILLICUDDY
It. 'It' was a party in your ex-boyfriend's basement. There were bands playing. There were musicians in the bands. The bands were made up of a bunch of my friends who don't really practice playing instruments at all but saw instruments in your ex-boyfriend's basement and said 'Let's have a jam session' and started playing the instruments.
It was loud. It was loud and unmusical. The drummer kept a beat and I danced to it. I was drunk. It was emotional form me, dancing to the beat the drummer kept. I am Black. Damn. Maybe this had something to do with it. I was very drunk.
I saw you dancing and decided that we should dance together. Your ex-boyfriend was dancing with you. I put my hand around your arm and solicited a dance with you and smiled and you smiled and we danced together. I was drunk and looked at your face while we danced and imagined that there was an incredible light shining from the sky down on your face and it was beautiful. There was a light on the ceiling with an incandescent light bulb in it and it was shining directly on your face and it made you sparkle. You were sparkling. I felt emotional about you sparkling beautifully.
Fuck 'Twilight' and the idea of vampirism. You aren't a vampire. You are a girl. With emotions. I wondered what emotions you felt. Maybe you are a vampire. Maybe you feel no emotions. I will never be able to find this out.
I was overwhelmed with emotions that were coming from everywhere including Bulgaria and Mainland China and I took your face in my hands and said 'This is too much. This is too good. You are beautiful. I have a crush on you. I have to go.' Your ex-boyfriend looked at me and stopped dancing. This is when I realized he was your ex-boyfriend I think. 'I can't be here anymore' I said. I don't know why I said this. It was the emotions. 'I have a crush on you and I can't be here. I have to go now.' You smiled amazingly and I ran away.
I ran up the stairs. I ran through the kitchen and the lounge. I ran there. 'There' is the smoking room. The smoking room is the porch at your ex-boyfriends house. There are chairs and a table and there are usually people.
There were some people.
I was out of cigarettes. I asked everyone for cigarettes. A bro gave me a cigarette and I could see that the aura of the bro sitting next to him was purple. I told him this. 'What a purple aura you have, bro' I said. He was amused by this. I don't believe in auras. I just write stories and draw things sometimes.
I lit the cigarette. I turned around and you came into the smoking room with your ex-boyfriend. 'Hi' I said. You waved and smiled amazingly and looked beautiful in the dark too. Beautiful and smooth and I was overwhelmed and had to sit down. There was a beer in my hand. I drank all of it. I don't remember what happened after that at all. For the rest of the night my memory centers retained zero information.
What is 'a coincidence'? I am not sure. This paragraph is a preface to another story and is set in an illogical manner directly before the last paragraph of this story. Do not be confused.
I woke up the next morning on a couch in an apartment that was not rented by me. I was severely confused and almost went completely bonkers here. At this moment. In this story. There was a used condom on the couch. I felt an insane amount of emotion. I felt the entire universe converge and warp silently onto itself in the desolation of that moment and knew that I was alive and afraid and felt outrageous insane emotions. I didn't like it. I tried to remember things. I remembered you and felt 'amazing'. I thought 'why is there a condom on this couch' and went home.
B. McGILLICUDDY
YOU ARE AN ARTIST. YOU THRIVE ON PAIN. YOU PROBABLY CAN'T WAIT FOR ME TO LEAVE YOU.
B. McGILLICUDDY
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probablh can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
B. McGILLICUDDY
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probablh can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
'You are an artist. You thrive on pain. You probably can't wait for me to leave you.'
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/08/2009
I AM FACEBOOK FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE I HAVE EVER BEEN 'ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED' WITH EXCEPT ONE DUDE
B. McGILLICUDDY
Here is a list of people who I consider people who I have been 'romantically involved' with including details and qualifiers in parentheses.
A girl who kissed me secretly when I was nine but who I do not consider my first kiss but was convinced I would marry one day and who I 'led to Christ' and whose brother I am still good friends with (Kissed/Fell in love with)
My first 'girlfriend' who I only went out with for twenty minutes and who is engaged to the boyfriend she had right after me (Dated/Rejected/Felt confused about)
A girl who I thought I was in love with during junior high who had a boyfriend and who I had a lot of classes with and who organized my shit for me all through junior high and who I joined the intramural soccer team just to hang out with (Pined for/Stalked/Felt confused about)
A girl who asked me out in junior high who I said no to and who I had Latin class with whose sister I saw early last week while grocery shopping (Rejected/Felt confused about)
A girl who I had a crush on for four years but who does not feel the same as I do who I facebook chat with relatively frequently and who I drew the bulk of my artwork in high school for (Pined for/Fell in love with)
My best friend who is a girl but who I could never marry because she would raise our children Catholic (Kissed/Pined for/Felt confused about)
My first kiss who is also engaged (Kissed)
The first girl I made out with in college after a frat party (Kissed)
A girl who I was friends with in college who exhibited a lot of sexual tension whenever we hung out (Pined for/Spooned with/Felt confused about)
A girl I said 'I want to have sex with you because I want to have sex with you' to who is very nice (Kissed/Stalked/Felt confused about)
A girl who I fingered once in my dorm room after watching 'Troy' after Thanksgiving Break who is in a sorority and who I almost gave my virginity to but didn't because she didn't want to 'make a mistake' since I didn't have any condoms (Kissed/Fingered/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with)
A girl who I dated briefly who is in a sorority and who I wrote a song for (Kissed/Dated)
A girl from the UK who was on her period but who I kind of fingered anyway (Pined for/Kissed/Fingered)
A girl who I felt 'love at first sight' for but who rejected me and avoided me after I told her but agreed to 'be my muse' for a while who I wrote a pretty good song for/about (Fell in love with/Stalked)
A dude who drunkenly convinced me to come back with him to his apartment and who drunk dialed me for a month because I wouldn't 'hang out' with him (Kissed/Rejected)
A girl who I stalked briefly because I did not know how to approach her and who I wrote my first sceenplay about/for (Stalked/Pined for/Spooned with)
The girl who I gave my virginity to and who I still have a subconscious attachment to (Had sex with/Pined for/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with)
A dude who I had a pretty long 'bromance' with while we were fucking other people and who hooked up with a long series of girls I really wanted to hook up with but did not have enough 'game' to approach properly and who I wrote a screen play about/for (Felt confused about)
A girl who my college roommate had sex with (Dated/Kissed/Performed cunnilingus on/Had sex with/Spooned with)
Another girl who my college roommate had sex with (Kissed/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on)
The previous two girls' mutual acquaintance (Kissed/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on/Felt confused about)
A girl who my roommate wanted to have sex with and who is absolutely physically enchanting and from a country I hadn't heard of until I met her (Kissed/Had sex with/Fell in love with)
A girl who was a virgin and who insisted on staying a virgin so I stopped hooking up with her (Kissed)
A girl from Brazil who seems to have a complicated love life according to facebook (Kissed)
My first 'real girlfriend' who I am writing a novel for/about (Dated/Stalked/Pined for/Fell in love with/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with/Rejected/Felt confused about)
A girl who has a distinct and very pleasant smell who I think is adorable and talented and who I miss intensely (Kissed/Spooned with/Fell in love with/Fingered/Felt confused about)
A girl who talks 'too much' about sex who I smoked marijuana with in Georgetown once and who I miss intensely (Pined for/Felt confused about)
A girl who I have a big crush on but who I am hiding it from but who I told once drunkenly in public 'I have a huge crush on you' at her ex-boyfriend's house while he was there and who I saw randomly with her family after watching 'Star Trek' (Felt confused about)
The 'bromance' guy's sister who I walked around Washinton D.C. with for an entire day and who I definitely should have kissed but didn't (Fell in love with)
A girl who was 'in a relationship' with the girl who 'talks "too much" about sex' on facebook and who I flirt with online frequently (Felt confused about)
Myself who I romanticize constantly but who I feel extremely alienated by because he would rather be romantically involved with someone more attractive (Fell in love with/Felt confused about/Gave a handjob to)
If my decision to document this results in generally negative emotions I think I will remove it or maybe just take out specific parts of it.
B. McGILLICUDDY
Here is a list of people who I consider people who I have been 'romantically involved' with including details and qualifiers in parentheses.
A girl who kissed me secretly when I was nine but who I do not consider my first kiss but was convinced I would marry one day and who I 'led to Christ' and whose brother I am still good friends with (Kissed/Fell in love with)
My first 'girlfriend' who I only went out with for twenty minutes and who is engaged to the boyfriend she had right after me (Dated/Rejected/Felt confused about)
A girl who I thought I was in love with during junior high who had a boyfriend and who I had a lot of classes with and who organized my shit for me all through junior high and who I joined the intramural soccer team just to hang out with (Pined for/Stalked/Felt confused about)
A girl who asked me out in junior high who I said no to and who I had Latin class with whose sister I saw early last week while grocery shopping (Rejected/Felt confused about)
A girl who I had a crush on for four years but who does not feel the same as I do who I facebook chat with relatively frequently and who I drew the bulk of my artwork in high school for (Pined for/Fell in love with)
My best friend who is a girl but who I could never marry because she would raise our children Catholic (Kissed/Pined for/Felt confused about)
My first kiss who is also engaged (Kissed)
The first girl I made out with in college after a frat party (Kissed)
A girl who I was friends with in college who exhibited a lot of sexual tension whenever we hung out (Pined for/Spooned with/Felt confused about)
A girl I said 'I want to have sex with you because I want to have sex with you' to who is very nice (Kissed/Stalked/Felt confused about)
A girl who I fingered once in my dorm room after watching 'Troy' after Thanksgiving Break who is in a sorority and who I almost gave my virginity to but didn't because she didn't want to 'make a mistake' since I didn't have any condoms (Kissed/Fingered/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with)
A girl who I dated briefly who is in a sorority and who I wrote a song for (Kissed/Dated)
A girl from the UK who was on her period but who I kind of fingered anyway (Pined for/Kissed/Fingered)
A girl who I felt 'love at first sight' for but who rejected me and avoided me after I told her but agreed to 'be my muse' for a while who I wrote a pretty good song for/about (Fell in love with/Stalked)
A dude who drunkenly convinced me to come back with him to his apartment and who drunk dialed me for a month because I wouldn't 'hang out' with him (Kissed/Rejected)
A girl who I stalked briefly because I did not know how to approach her and who I wrote my first sceenplay about/for (Stalked/Pined for/Spooned with)
The girl who I gave my virginity to and who I still have a subconscious attachment to (Had sex with/Pined for/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with)
A dude who I had a pretty long 'bromance' with while we were fucking other people and who hooked up with a long series of girls I really wanted to hook up with but did not have enough 'game' to approach properly and who I wrote a screen play about/for (Felt confused about)
A girl who my college roommate had sex with (Dated/Kissed/Performed cunnilingus on/Had sex with/Spooned with)
Another girl who my college roommate had sex with (Kissed/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on)
The previous two girls' mutual acquaintance (Kissed/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on/Felt confused about)
A girl who my roommate wanted to have sex with and who is absolutely physically enchanting and from a country I hadn't heard of until I met her (Kissed/Had sex with/Fell in love with)
A girl who was a virgin and who insisted on staying a virgin so I stopped hooking up with her (Kissed)
A girl from Brazil who seems to have a complicated love life according to facebook (Kissed)
My first 'real girlfriend' who I am writing a novel for/about (Dated/Stalked/Pined for/Fell in love with/Had sex with/Performed cunnilingus on/Spooned with/Rejected/Felt confused about)
A girl who has a distinct and very pleasant smell who I think is adorable and talented and who I miss intensely (Kissed/Spooned with/Fell in love with/Fingered/Felt confused about)
A girl who talks 'too much' about sex who I smoked marijuana with in Georgetown once and who I miss intensely (Pined for/Felt confused about)
A girl who I have a big crush on but who I am hiding it from but who I told once drunkenly in public 'I have a huge crush on you' at her ex-boyfriend's house while he was there and who I saw randomly with her family after watching 'Star Trek' (Felt confused about)
The 'bromance' guy's sister who I walked around Washinton D.C. with for an entire day and who I definitely should have kissed but didn't (Fell in love with)
A girl who was 'in a relationship' with the girl who 'talks "too much" about sex' on facebook and who I flirt with online frequently (Felt confused about)
Myself who I romanticize constantly but who I feel extremely alienated by because he would rather be romantically involved with someone more attractive (Fell in love with/Felt confused about/Gave a handjob to)
If my decision to document this results in generally negative emotions I think I will remove it or maybe just take out specific parts of it.
B. McGILLICUDDY
SINCE I FELT TOO ASHAMED TO SAY 'I TOLD YOU SO' I JUST BURIED YOUR PET RAT WHEN IT SEEMED LEAST CONVENIENT AS A KIND OF REVENGE
B. McGILLICUDDY
This is a pome
I spell 'poem' p-o-m-e
This pome is about love
Because everything on this blog is about love
Or at least fucking
The word 'fucking' doesn't seem to conjure images of sex in my mind for some reason
'Vagina' does make me visualize the visible exterior of a vagina though
If I were a pig
On a farm
And were self-aware
What a stupid conjecture
My pet fish gave live birth today
And then my other pet fish ate the baby fish
This is an exception to the 'food chain' concept I think
Or maybe 'etiquette'
Or just 'fish manners' in general
I almost got arrested this 4th of July
Don't tell my parents
I might start spelling 'love' l-o-e-v out of some kind of buttercuppish irony
So my next post will be a 'loev pome' or something
B. McGILLICUDDY
This is a pome
I spell 'poem' p-o-m-e
This pome is about love
Because everything on this blog is about love
Or at least fucking
The word 'fucking' doesn't seem to conjure images of sex in my mind for some reason
'Vagina' does make me visualize the visible exterior of a vagina though
If I were a pig
On a farm
And were self-aware
What a stupid conjecture
My pet fish gave live birth today
And then my other pet fish ate the baby fish
This is an exception to the 'food chain' concept I think
Or maybe 'etiquette'
Or just 'fish manners' in general
I almost got arrested this 4th of July
Don't tell my parents
I might start spelling 'love' l-o-e-v out of some kind of buttercuppish irony
So my next post will be a 'loev pome' or something
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/05/2009
MY COCK
B. McGILLICUDDY
I feel highly ambivalent about the state of my cock. My cock seems okay maybe. Happy. Dietary needs fulfilled. My cock looks like it is trying to convey a 'cheery disposition' but it preemptively says things like 'Yeah bro! All's well bro! Go with the flow bro! Y'know I will!' before I can even say things to it. Then it laughs. Awkwardly. Like my cock is extremely aware of its uncanny resemblance to a single, middle-aged CFO with only about 38% the average sense of humor and 10% the average restraint that the vast majority of English-speaking persons appear to have regarding impulsively saying something extremely embarrassing or revealing about their problems. My cock seems secretly incredibly sad. I don't know why my cock is secretly incredibly sad. My cock won't tell me. I asked it flat out once and it said 'Let's play some fucking "World of Warcraft" bro!' I think maybe a psychiatrist would know what's wrong if I asked him or her to see my cock professionally. Seems like psychiatrists might be generally outside of my price range. I am not even sure if my cock is actually secretly incredibly sad. I just asked my cock 'What's up bro?' My cock said 'I haven't watered my azaleas at all this week bro. I'm seriously worried that they'll just die on me. Shrivel up and die bro.' 'Damn.' I said. I feel bad for my cock. I think I'll take my cock out shark fishing on the Chesapeake some time this week. Might get my cock to loosen up and tell me what's really 'going down'. Worried my cock might be secretly incredibly sad. Maybe to the point of severe depression. Maybe to the point of being borderline suicidal. Fuck. I would hate it if my cock had to go on medication. I've seen what it does to most severely depressed assholes. Seems like they just become total sphincters. Bitch ass palindromatic obnoxiously anxious sphincters. Please pray for my cock. What if my cock is heartbroken? Jesus Christ.
B. McGILLICUDDY
I feel highly ambivalent about the state of my cock. My cock seems okay maybe. Happy. Dietary needs fulfilled. My cock looks like it is trying to convey a 'cheery disposition' but it preemptively says things like 'Yeah bro! All's well bro! Go with the flow bro! Y'know I will!' before I can even say things to it. Then it laughs. Awkwardly. Like my cock is extremely aware of its uncanny resemblance to a single, middle-aged CFO with only about 38% the average sense of humor and 10% the average restraint that the vast majority of English-speaking persons appear to have regarding impulsively saying something extremely embarrassing or revealing about their problems. My cock seems secretly incredibly sad. I don't know why my cock is secretly incredibly sad. My cock won't tell me. I asked it flat out once and it said 'Let's play some fucking "World of Warcraft" bro!' I think maybe a psychiatrist would know what's wrong if I asked him or her to see my cock professionally. Seems like psychiatrists might be generally outside of my price range. I am not even sure if my cock is actually secretly incredibly sad. I just asked my cock 'What's up bro?' My cock said 'I haven't watered my azaleas at all this week bro. I'm seriously worried that they'll just die on me. Shrivel up and die bro.' 'Damn.' I said. I feel bad for my cock. I think I'll take my cock out shark fishing on the Chesapeake some time this week. Might get my cock to loosen up and tell me what's really 'going down'. Worried my cock might be secretly incredibly sad. Maybe to the point of severe depression. Maybe to the point of being borderline suicidal. Fuck. I would hate it if my cock had to go on medication. I've seen what it does to most severely depressed assholes. Seems like they just become total sphincters. Bitch ass palindromatic obnoxiously anxious sphincters. Please pray for my cock. What if my cock is heartbroken? Jesus Christ.
B. McGILLICUDDY
7/01/2009
ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND HAVING SEX
B. McGILLICUDDY
I stand by a window in an apartment in College Park. I see a man outside of the window walking into the back yard of a house. He is walking a cat on a leash. He ties the leash that is attached to the cat to a tent peg in the middle of the yard. He looks up and sees me. I 'take a sip’ of cheap wine out of a red cup and laugh ‘boisterously’. My girlfriend walks into the kitchen and is tying her hair into a ponytail. ‘What up’ she says. ‘I want to have sex’ I say. ‘Okay’ she says. ‘I want to have sex everywhere’ I say. There are shot glasses on the windowsill. She comes over to me and kisses me on the lips and simultaneously picks up two shot glasses. I put my right hand around her back and my left hand on her right ass cheek and focus on kissing her and making my tongue ‘play with’ her tongue. It is very hot that I do this I think. We do this for about three minutes. She pulls her face away from my face and looks at me. I look at her and smile and laugh ‘boisterously’. She opens the freezer and takes out a bottle of expensive vodka and pours two shots. ‘You are so hot’ I say to her. ‘You are cute’ she says to me. ‘I am going to fuck you so good right now’ I say to her. ‘I am going to cum so hard’ she says to me. We ‘take shots’ and start kissing hard. She is up against the kitchen counter and I am touching her waist and the back of her neck and ‘grazing’ her breasts sometimes while kissing her. We do this for maybe five to eight minutes. ‘Let’s take shots again’ I say. ‘Good plan’ she says. ‘You are a mediocre kisser’ I say sarcastically maybe. ‘Shut up’ she says. It seems that she can’t tell if I am being sarcastic maybe. We ‘take shots’ again. I take her hand in my hand and walk with her to the couch. She locks the apartment door as we pass it. We sit down and look at each other. ‘Hi’ she says. ‘Hi’ I say. We kiss for maybe three more minutes and I begin to take off her clothes. She is completely naked and we are kissing. I do not have a shirt on. She unbuckles my belt while I am kissing her and touching her breasts. She is making moaning noises. I touch her vagina and rub it while she unzips my pants. She moans louder. She becomes ‘extremely aggressive’ and pulls my pants of all of the way. My penis is maybe 60-70% hard. She looks at my penis and then looks at my face and smiles. I kiss her for three seconds. She takes my penis in her hand and puts her mouth on it. It feels good. I feel like I might have ‘blacked out’ here for about three minutes. She is very good at putting her mouth on a penis in a sexy way. After three minutes she stands up and I look at her body. She is very tall. I laugh ‘boisterously’ and tell her this. She says ‘shut up’. I put my hands on the back of her waist and pull her toward me and she sits on top of my legs. She puts her face close to mine and I kiss her. Then I whisper in her ear ‘I am going to fuck you so good right now’. She begins licking my earlobe and kissing my cheek. I put both of my hands on the area between her ass cheeks and her thighs and pull her closer to me. She stands a little and then puts her vagina on my penis. ‘Jesus Christ’ I think. She moans loudly. I sigh loudly. She moans loudly. I sigh loudly. She moans. I sigh. She moans. I sigh. She moans. I sigh. There are many quick breaths between moaning and sighing. This happens for about six minutes. We stop having sex on the couch and have sex on the futon. After a while she wants to ‘take’ more ‘shots’. ‘I bet we can have sex all the way to the kitchen’ I say. She laughs ‘boisterously’. We have sex all the way to the kitchen. We have sex on the kitchen counter. We take shots. We have sex against the back of the couch. We take shots. We have sex in missionary position on the futon again. She cums very hard and moans loudly. I feel like I am about to cum. The door makes a sound. ‘Shit’ she says. ‘Damn’ I say. She takes her vagina off of my penis and grabs the clothes off of the couch and runs to her bedroom. I stand up and ‘tip-toe’ to her bedroom. I laugh ‘boisterously’. ‘Shut up’ she says. I close the door to her bedroom. She throws the clothes on the floor. She looks at me. ‘Cum on me’ she says. She lies down on her bed and pulls her legs as far apart as possible. I feel like I want to cum. I put my penis inside of her vagina and push in and out ‘rigorously’ while supporting my body with my hands. I can feel my penis sliding against her ‘G spot’ repeatedly and she moans loudly. I think ‘this is amazing. Jesus. This is amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. I am going to cum. Amazing. Jesus’. I black out for about ten seconds. I look down and there is cum in between her breasts. I look at her face. She is very sweaty and has a very calm facial expression. ‘Yes’ I think and laugh ‘boisterously’.
B. McGILLICUDDY
I stand by a window in an apartment in College Park. I see a man outside of the window walking into the back yard of a house. He is walking a cat on a leash. He ties the leash that is attached to the cat to a tent peg in the middle of the yard. He looks up and sees me. I 'take a sip’ of cheap wine out of a red cup and laugh ‘boisterously’. My girlfriend walks into the kitchen and is tying her hair into a ponytail. ‘What up’ she says. ‘I want to have sex’ I say. ‘Okay’ she says. ‘I want to have sex everywhere’ I say. There are shot glasses on the windowsill. She comes over to me and kisses me on the lips and simultaneously picks up two shot glasses. I put my right hand around her back and my left hand on her right ass cheek and focus on kissing her and making my tongue ‘play with’ her tongue. It is very hot that I do this I think. We do this for about three minutes. She pulls her face away from my face and looks at me. I look at her and smile and laugh ‘boisterously’. She opens the freezer and takes out a bottle of expensive vodka and pours two shots. ‘You are so hot’ I say to her. ‘You are cute’ she says to me. ‘I am going to fuck you so good right now’ I say to her. ‘I am going to cum so hard’ she says to me. We ‘take shots’ and start kissing hard. She is up against the kitchen counter and I am touching her waist and the back of her neck and ‘grazing’ her breasts sometimes while kissing her. We do this for maybe five to eight minutes. ‘Let’s take shots again’ I say. ‘Good plan’ she says. ‘You are a mediocre kisser’ I say sarcastically maybe. ‘Shut up’ she says. It seems that she can’t tell if I am being sarcastic maybe. We ‘take shots’ again. I take her hand in my hand and walk with her to the couch. She locks the apartment door as we pass it. We sit down and look at each other. ‘Hi’ she says. ‘Hi’ I say. We kiss for maybe three more minutes and I begin to take off her clothes. She is completely naked and we are kissing. I do not have a shirt on. She unbuckles my belt while I am kissing her and touching her breasts. She is making moaning noises. I touch her vagina and rub it while she unzips my pants. She moans louder. She becomes ‘extremely aggressive’ and pulls my pants of all of the way. My penis is maybe 60-70% hard. She looks at my penis and then looks at my face and smiles. I kiss her for three seconds. She takes my penis in her hand and puts her mouth on it. It feels good. I feel like I might have ‘blacked out’ here for about three minutes. She is very good at putting her mouth on a penis in a sexy way. After three minutes she stands up and I look at her body. She is very tall. I laugh ‘boisterously’ and tell her this. She says ‘shut up’. I put my hands on the back of her waist and pull her toward me and she sits on top of my legs. She puts her face close to mine and I kiss her. Then I whisper in her ear ‘I am going to fuck you so good right now’. She begins licking my earlobe and kissing my cheek. I put both of my hands on the area between her ass cheeks and her thighs and pull her closer to me. She stands a little and then puts her vagina on my penis. ‘Jesus Christ’ I think. She moans loudly. I sigh loudly. She moans loudly. I sigh loudly. She moans. I sigh. She moans. I sigh. She moans. I sigh. There are many quick breaths between moaning and sighing. This happens for about six minutes. We stop having sex on the couch and have sex on the futon. After a while she wants to ‘take’ more ‘shots’. ‘I bet we can have sex all the way to the kitchen’ I say. She laughs ‘boisterously’. We have sex all the way to the kitchen. We have sex on the kitchen counter. We take shots. We have sex against the back of the couch. We take shots. We have sex in missionary position on the futon again. She cums very hard and moans loudly. I feel like I am about to cum. The door makes a sound. ‘Shit’ she says. ‘Damn’ I say. She takes her vagina off of my penis and grabs the clothes off of the couch and runs to her bedroom. I stand up and ‘tip-toe’ to her bedroom. I laugh ‘boisterously’. ‘Shut up’ she says. I close the door to her bedroom. She throws the clothes on the floor. She looks at me. ‘Cum on me’ she says. She lies down on her bed and pulls her legs as far apart as possible. I feel like I want to cum. I put my penis inside of her vagina and push in and out ‘rigorously’ while supporting my body with my hands. I can feel my penis sliding against her ‘G spot’ repeatedly and she moans loudly. I think ‘this is amazing. Jesus. This is amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. I am going to cum. Amazing. Jesus’. I black out for about ten seconds. I look down and there is cum in between her breasts. I look at her face. She is very sweaty and has a very calm facial expression. ‘Yes’ I think and laugh ‘boisterously’.
B. McGILLICUDDY
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