NAME-CALLING

B. McGILLICUDDY

People have names. Here are some examples of the cock-and-ball-bearing persuasion [in order of most-to-least retarded].

"My name...is Neo!"
"Bond. James Bond."
"Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise."
"I wonder if she meant old Ben Kenobi."
"Forrest, Forrest Gump."

And the following is indirectly addressing those without [a cock and/or balls (and possibly ovaries for that matter)].

There are, as we know, given names, as well as other names, and then there are other other names on top of those. But some people, for one reason or another, prefer to go nameless. Those who simply lack experience in the realm of inventing a false identity and those who do not have the free time to spend on such details are without blame. But creeper motherfuckers with creeper intentions and creeper sensibilities are just motherfucking awesome. Because awesome motherfuckers conceal their identities for awesome motherfucking reasons.

Exhibit A: one awesome motherfucker likes to hide behind the cloak of not-too-subtle anonymity, like a fucking douchebitch [on account of being one], when commenting [nearly exclusively] on La Frere's literary work. And in spite of the brilliance and linguistic versatility exhibited by the author, no matter how cathartic the work may be, said douchebitch does not have the restraint, rationale or respect to comment without insult, or, more appropriately, compliment the author on the strength of her writing.

Now, his/her reasons for this are unclear to me, but I think it is fair to assume there are some emotional parameters. They're most likely evenly distributed between a keen sense of rejection, jealousy, chauvinism, and being a little pansy bitch. But regardless of his/her means of justifying this behavior, the reasons are undoubtedly awesome. And since people are defined by their actions, that would make this person super awesome! So keep being awesome, bro! Because your awesomeness will henceforth be richly and justly rewarded, douchebitch.

B. McGILLICUDDY