BLATANT EXPRESSIONS OF APATHY MISINTERPRETED AS SELF-ABSORPTION

B. McGILLICUDDY

I don't care, says Winona Ryder. I don't care either, says Liam Neeson. I mean I don't think we should date anymore, says Winona Ryder. I mean I don't think we should have sexual intercourse anymore, says Liam Neeson. What do you want me to say to that, says Winona Ryder. I am ignoring you from now on, says Liam Neeson, and my ankle itches. You're an asshole, says Winona Ryder. I know you are, but what am I, says Liam Neeson. My mother is coming to dinner, says Winona Ryder. You're mother approaches completely normal situations irrationally and I want her to die, says Liam Neeson. Maybe we should rethink things, says Winona Ryder. I drank half a bottle of scotch before breakfast, says Liam Neeson feeling a little bit like cookie dough, but not too much like cookie dough. This doesn't seem to be worth it at all, says Winona Ryder, checking her purse for her bottle of adderall. I have so much work to do, she says and whimpers a little. I feel sorry about every dance I've ever danced with you and every song we ever listened to together, says Liam Neeson. You seem pathetic, says Winona Ryder. Want to go to the co-op and get sandwiches together, says Liam Neeson. I have to go to work at three, says Winona Ryder. How about dinner, says Liam Neeson. My mother is coming to that, says Winona Ryder. A giant guinea pig walks down the street to where Liam Neeson is and sniffs Liam Neeson's shoulder. Liam Neeson turns and says, what the fuck, where have you been this whole time.

B. McGILLICUDDY