9/21/2009

IS IT MORALLY WRONG FOR ME TO 'TOUCH MYSELF'

This morning I woke up and my penis was 2-2.5 times larger than normal. I really had to make a 'urination' so I stood up and my lil johnny rubbed against my PJs and I realized that it was also very sensitive. I felt embarrassed. I felt afraid. What if someone saw me walking to the 'restroom' with a 'phallic protrusion' extending from my groin?

I am a 'good guy' and hold public opinion of myself/private eroticism/sexuality in high regard. I don't know if I could 'live with' the embarrassment of my family/friends/any girl that I am not fucking regularly to see my genitals in this state.

I hunched over to pretend like maybe I slept in an awkward position and my back was hurting or something, making sure not to make 'eye-contact' with anything but the floor and walked quickly to the bathroom, sliding my feet along the floor to give the impression that my legs were in 'hella pain' too. I got to the bathroom and pulled the door until it was 'cracked'. I looked down the hallway and saw that nobody was there. WHEW!!! Time for that piss

Once I lowered my pajama pants comfortably beneath my scrotum, I saw that my penis was still 'hard as shit', and was perpendicular to my stomach, which was a problem, since I still needed to 'pee'. I had to step back from the toilet and angle my dick ~45 degrees downward and contract my sphincter 'extraneously' to actually 'use the bathroom'. It was terrible.

But once I was finished 'doing my business', I shook my wang a little to remove any excess urine and realized that whenever I moved/touched/kind of thought about inserting my cock (into a vagina, I think) it did something very strange and 'throbbed' or 'contracted' or something, and it felt really weird and maybe good.

So I kept doing it a few times until I remembered some words I read once in 'an historical document' like 'thou shalt not touch thine genitals as someone else's genitals ought to touch thine genitals' or something and felt God's all-knowing eyes on my heart and my penis

this is a statue some 'heathens' made to glorify 'piss boners'


I felt guilty. I felt 'ashamed of myself'. But the feeling I had when I did this thing made me feel like maybe I 'should' keep 'stroking' until something else happened. Like something ultimately fantastic and inexplicable might happen if I ignored God's all-knowing, condescendingly righteous eyes and 'touched myself' until I didn't feel like doing it anymore.

Is it wrong to 'masturbate'? I looked up 'jerk off' on the Google and learned that that is the 'scientific nomenclature' for this action. Will 'God' stop loving me if I 'deny my primal urges'?

these are some of my friends who 'won their battle against sex addiction' via Jesus' help

Kind of worried about my 'eternal soul'/the quality of my 'life on Earth' if I 'give in' to wanting to 'tug one out' next time I get 'horny'.

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