movie review: 'the future'

miranda july directs
herself
and hamish linklater



you arrive home after living abroad for five months

your brother asks if you've seen 'the future'?

'the movie? by miranda july?' you ask

'yeah,' says your brother

'no, but i've been wanting to'

'it's really weird'

'yeah, she's crazy'

'i got it on redbox, it's in the DVD player'

you go downstairs to the den and wrap yourself in a blanket and use the remote to turn on the DVD player

during the movie you try to discern what the title of the film 'means' or is referring to,

then you remember the title of miranda july's last movie was 'me and you and everyone we know' and vaguely remember a character saying 'me and you and everyone we know' or something like that during the movie

you expect this to happen in 'the future'

after the movie you discuss the themes with your brother

he thinks that the injured cat, the 'soul of the movie' is the worst thing about it

you think about an interview with miranda july in which she admits to never having seen 'lolcats' and think this may have informed, in a way, the movie's overall 'non-self-awareness'

you 'go mad' and contemplate stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping time stopping

MOVIE REVIEW: TWILIGHT EPISODE IV: VAMPIRES IN SEATTLE

B. McGILLICUDDY



At first I thought this movie was going to be gay. Then I watched some of it, and I noticed that the cinematography was irrefutably visually appealing/zany/did not accent the action scenes very well. The story isn't very believable, but that's okay, because vampires are 'cool'. Then I noticed that Kristen Stewart is pretty hot, so I kept watching. Then I realized that they spent a lot of time not explaining anything, and then suddenly spent a lot of time explaining everything, which was a huge bummer. I'd rather either a) not have known or b) been shown, not told. But my expectations were too high I guess. And then, for some reason they decided that Kristen Stewart should do a voice-over for part of the movie, which was a bit off-putting. The action scenes, which should have been good, were just confusing. Then I realized that all the plot devices and uses of slow-motion photography were all really weak. But luckily, Kristen Stewart (and the rest of the cast, generally) stayed hot for the whole movie, so I finished it.

* *1/2 out of * * * * *

B. McGILLICUDDY