Feeling really nervous
These are my final hours of life before my life is over
It was a good run, I think
Did y'all enjoy one year of Buttercup McGillicuddy/Romantic Rhetoric?
I think I did
I will probably cry while I kill myself tonight
I slept through the time I was supposed to go on that date
And ended up not fucking anybody
So this looks like 'it's it'
12/31/2009
12/28/2009
POSTHUMOUS POSTING
Going on a date tomorrow
Chances 'looking good,' unsure
Seems neutral
Unsure if 'vortical' could be used abstractly to describe reality
Or not, or anything
My imagination feels like it's drowning or something
What if I panic at the last second and can't do it
Will anyone be surprised, relieved
I'm not going to kill myself
I will schedule the remaining line-up of 'upcoming posts'
To appear on January 3rd, 6th, 10th, and 15th
Happy New Year
Chances 'looking good,' unsure
Seems neutral
Unsure if 'vortical' could be used abstractly to describe reality
Or not, or anything
My imagination feels like it's drowning or something
What if I panic at the last second and can't do it
Will anyone be surprised, relieved
I'm not going to kill myself
I will schedule the remaining line-up of 'upcoming posts'
To appear on January 3rd, 6th, 10th, and 15th
Happy New Year
12/24/2009
IF BUTTERCUP McGILLICUDDY DOESN'T 'GET LAID' BY 11:59 P.M. DECEMBER 31ST, BUTTERCUP McGILLICUDDY IS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE
Hey Blogospheres,
I am writing in the first person and sans sans sarcasm of a sort of realistic nature and with intent and manner re informing you that I have decided that if I do not 'get laid' (via vaginal intercourse with a genetically/genitally/gender-designated 'woman' who is not closely related to me [and is not dating/dated/kind of dating/dated any of 'my bros']) by midnight, New Years, I am going to commit suicide.
I understand that people 'take suicide seriously,' and that it's a 'turn off' with respect to sexual attraction/potential copulation, but these are the parameters for my decision, and I will not undo them. I am 'a man of my word,' and will soon be 'a dead man of my word,' via hanging/wrist-cutting/medically assisted euthanasia/trainsplatting/the method of my choice, if 'decided spontaneously,' unless I perform coitus with a girl within roughly a week.
I have given everyone 'a fair heads up' in order to allow for maximum response/ignoring on everyones' part. I will not 'feel bad' if no one attempts to 'save my life,' though I will 'hold to' the former half of my statement (the 'if I do get laid' part), and will not commit suicide before the age of fifty should 'the act' occur.
Today is JESUSBIRTH Eve and will most likely not allow for any sort of sexual encounter, so all attempts to seduce me, today specifically, are discouraged. I will be with my parents for the majority of the day, last-minute-shopping, bullshitting around the house, and arguing about 'how insignificant their religion is to my worldview' vs. '(something) (something) the Bible (something) Salvation (something, unsure)' or something that will piss me off enough to not want to have sex, I'm sure. JESUSBIRTHMASS will probably be more of the same, culminating in a 'JESUS IS GREAT dinner' somewhere the family 'preordained' but did not inform me of.
I may Tweet (word of the year bitchezZZ) the address of 'PAGAN HOLIDAY dinner,' while at 'KWANZAAAAAA dinner,' which could allow for a quick rendezvous, if you have transportation. It will most-likely be at my grandmother's house, maybe my aunt's. I can't be sure. They both live within a half-hour of Washington D.C. I'll keep a few condoms on me at all times, J.I.C.
The day after Christmas, I will be working at my job in College Park from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., which is probably 'prime time' to 'save my life,' if you are at all interested in that venture. There are security cameras inside the facility, but I have found at least one blind spot that should be available, briefly, before the lunch rush (I work at a restaurant). I also work Monday, I think
After Monday, my movements will vary greatly and I cannot be sure where I will be from one moment to the next (predetermined movements from this distance are impossible, it seems). You can call me on my cellular phone if you have access to my Facebook account during this time.
My intention is to attend a New Years party on Sunday, prevent 'putting a damper' on the celebration by being 'the bro who died at our New Years party,' and then quietly go off to a secluded area and 'end it all,' as a poetic gesture/publicity stunt for this blog post.
I feel that this year has been a year of new awakenings/new levels of sadness and that the relative success of this blog is a testament to good things happening in places all around the world, but that does not keep the world from being cruel, or me wanting to say 'goodbye' to it, so I won't be seeing y'all anymore. Hope you enjoy the archives.
I will leave all other media, besides my Twitter, up as an internet memorial to myself, which seems 'mad sweet,' via the 'sweet ass' FB memorials for all my dead friends (R.I.P. bros/broadz). I will also open the privacy settings for my Facebook photographs up to the public too, I think, maybe. I feel unsure about that last statement.
May add to this post briefly, later, but besides that, I'M OUT.
L8R ASSHOLEZ, J/K
BUTTERCUP McGILLICUDDY
I am writing in the first person and sans sans sarcasm of a sort of realistic nature and with intent and manner re informing you that I have decided that if I do not 'get laid' (via vaginal intercourse with a genetically/genitally/gender-designated 'woman' who is not closely related to me [and is not dating/dated/kind of dating/dated any of 'my bros']) by midnight, New Years, I am going to commit suicide.
I understand that people 'take suicide seriously,' and that it's a 'turn off' with respect to sexual attraction/potential copulation, but these are the parameters for my decision, and I will not undo them. I am 'a man of my word,' and will soon be 'a dead man of my word,' via hanging/wrist-cutting/medically assisted euthanasia/trainsplatting/the method of my choice, if 'decided spontaneously,' unless I perform coitus with a girl within roughly a week.
I have given everyone 'a fair heads up' in order to allow for maximum response/ignoring on everyones' part. I will not 'feel bad' if no one attempts to 'save my life,' though I will 'hold to' the former half of my statement (the 'if I do get laid' part), and will not commit suicide before the age of fifty should 'the act' occur.
Today is JESUSBIRTH Eve and will most likely not allow for any sort of sexual encounter, so all attempts to seduce me, today specifically, are discouraged. I will be with my parents for the majority of the day, last-minute-shopping, bullshitting around the house, and arguing about 'how insignificant their religion is to my worldview' vs. '(something) (something) the Bible (something) Salvation (something, unsure)' or something that will piss me off enough to not want to have sex, I'm sure. JESUSBIRTHMASS will probably be more of the same, culminating in a 'JESUS IS GREAT dinner' somewhere the family 'preordained' but did not inform me of.
I may Tweet (word of the year bitchezZZ) the address of 'PAGAN HOLIDAY dinner,' while at 'KWANZAAAAAA dinner,' which could allow for a quick rendezvous, if you have transportation. It will most-likely be at my grandmother's house, maybe my aunt's. I can't be sure. They both live within a half-hour of Washington D.C. I'll keep a few condoms on me at all times, J.I.C.
The day after Christmas, I will be working at my job in College Park from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., which is probably 'prime time' to 'save my life,' if you are at all interested in that venture. There are security cameras inside the facility, but I have found at least one blind spot that should be available, briefly, before the lunch rush (I work at a restaurant). I also work Monday, I think
After Monday, my movements will vary greatly and I cannot be sure where I will be from one moment to the next (predetermined movements from this distance are impossible, it seems). You can call me on my cellular phone if you have access to my Facebook account during this time.
My intention is to attend a New Years party on Sunday, prevent 'putting a damper' on the celebration by being 'the bro who died at our New Years party,' and then quietly go off to a secluded area and 'end it all,' as a poetic gesture/publicity stunt for this blog post.
I feel that this year has been a year of new awakenings/new levels of sadness and that the relative success of this blog is a testament to good things happening in places all around the world, but that does not keep the world from being cruel, or me wanting to say 'goodbye' to it, so I won't be seeing y'all anymore. Hope you enjoy the archives.
I will leave all other media, besides my Twitter, up as an internet memorial to myself, which seems 'mad sweet,' via the 'sweet ass' FB memorials for all my dead friends (R.I.P. bros/broadz). I will also open the privacy settings for my Facebook photographs up to the public too, I think, maybe. I feel unsure about that last statement.
May add to this post briefly, later, but besides that, I'M OUT.
L8R ASSHOLEZ, J/K
BUTTERCUP McGILLICUDDY
12/20/2009
ROMANTIC RHETORIC'S TOP TWENTY-FIVE ALBUMS OF 2009 BASED ON 'LEVELS OF ENJOYABILITY*'
'Comprehensive analysis' of the top five located 'after da jump.'
25// Weezer — Raditude
24// Say Anything — Say Anything
23// The xx — xx
22// Monsters of Folk — Monsters of Folk
21// Lil Wayne — Rebirth
20// Wavves — Wavvves
19// Dan Deacon — Bromst
18// Fuck Buttons — Tarot Sport
17// Karen O and the Kids — Where the Wild Things Are (OST)
16// Wilco — Wilco (The Album)
15// Peter Bjorn and John — Living Thing
14// The Nudes — Indian Graveyard
13// Raekwon — Only Built for Cuban Links, Pt. 2
12// Washed Out — Life of Leisure
11// Phoenix — Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
*'levels of enjoyability' based on the equation e=u(q/r)+d, whereas 'u' is the amount of 'euphoria' felt while listening on a 0-9 scale, 'q' is the frequency of times the album was listened to, 'r' is the amount of time passed since the album was released/leaked, and 'd' is the frequency with which i danced to the music while listening to it.
25// Weezer — Raditude
24// Say Anything — Say Anything
23// The xx — xx
22// Monsters of Folk — Monsters of Folk
21// Lil Wayne — Rebirth
20// Wavves — Wavvves
19// Dan Deacon — Bromst
18// Fuck Buttons — Tarot Sport
17// Karen O and the Kids — Where the Wild Things Are (OST)
16// Wilco — Wilco (The Album)
15// Peter Bjorn and John — Living Thing
14// The Nudes — Indian Graveyard
13// Raekwon — Only Built for Cuban Links, Pt. 2
12// Washed Out — Life of Leisure
11// Phoenix — Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
*'levels of enjoyability' based on the equation e=u(q/r)+d, whereas 'u' is the amount of 'euphoria' felt while listening on a 0-9 scale, 'q' is the frequency of times the album was listened to, 'r' is the amount of time passed since the album was released/leaked, and 'd' is the frequency with which i danced to the music while listening to it.
12/13/2009
LET'S TALK ABOUT: 'OUR FEELINGS' :|
Do any of y'all remember yall's childhoods? Back when everything was 'simpler' and you felt like 'a fucking idiot' 88% of the time?
My therapist told me that it is important to remember those times. It's important to be 'aware of one's emotions' and have a li'l fun every now and then instead of being 'an uptight asshole' all of the time.
Watch this video, it will remind you of 'better dayz.'
Not sure if I agree with my therapist, or if my personal philosophy about life aligns with 'being in touch' with anything besides relevant media coverage and music that's 'fucking sick.' Not really sure what I liked as a child/how I felt about other people.
If I recall correctly, I was 'completely dependent'/obsessed with performing acts of self-validation and wanting to be the 'center' of what everyone was looking at.
I think the reason why I am so detached and passive-aggressive now is because I never 'succeeded' at maintaining peoples' interest in my personal brand.
Seems like when I was younger/more 'in-touch' with my emotions, I acted like a li'l bitch.
Now, for the most part, I try to avoid putting my 'emos' on display when in the company of other humans, and just 'connect on an intellectual level.' Seems like displaying 'insecuritie' as an adult is strictly for the gays and people who are addicted to uppers.
When I do have 'emotional outbursts' or feel like 'getting vulns' I keep it inside and then let is explode forth in a single, non-embarrassing moment of isolated frustration and weakness.
Not like the Great Dane Cooks lame-ass 'comedic scenario,' but similar.
I honestly think my inability to 'connect with other human beings' on an emotional level is preventing 'my happiness.'
I am 'interested' in and 'have feelings for' a li'l broad who is keut and non-threatening, but I can't 'open up' to her because it seems beneath me or something, like there is 0nly 0ne pers0n who could understand my feelings and I can't even open up to that 0ne pers0n.
Sup with 'hipsters' and being 'detached li'l humans?' Is there something wrong with emotionz? Is there something 'evil' about them?
Seems like this blog post is 'fucking weak' because I'm getting vulns with y'all re 'my feelins.'
What do y'all think? Is it better to go through life 'not giving a shit,' or should I become a more 'emotionally stimulated/driven' person?
Should I 'scrap' this post and stop being 'a li'l pussie?'
'Where is my childhood?' — The Late Michael Jackson Fives
My therapist told me that it is important to remember those times. It's important to be 'aware of one's emotions' and have a li'l fun every now and then instead of being 'an uptight asshole' all of the time.
Watch this video, it will remind you of 'better dayz.'
Not sure if I agree with my therapist, or if my personal philosophy about life aligns with 'being in touch' with anything besides relevant media coverage and music that's 'fucking sick.' Not really sure what I liked as a child/how I felt about other people.
If I recall correctly, I was 'completely dependent'/obsessed with performing acts of self-validation and wanting to be the 'center' of what everyone was looking at.
I think the reason why I am so detached and passive-aggressive now is because I never 'succeeded' at maintaining peoples' interest in my personal brand.
Seems like when I was younger/more 'in-touch' with my emotions, I acted like a li'l bitch.
Now, for the most part, I try to avoid putting my 'emos' on display when in the company of other humans, and just 'connect on an intellectual level.' Seems like displaying 'insecuritie' as an adult is strictly for the gays and people who are addicted to uppers.
When I do have 'emotional outbursts' or feel like 'getting vulns' I keep it inside and then let is explode forth in a single, non-embarrassing moment of isolated frustration and weakness.
Not like the Great Dane Cooks lame-ass 'comedic scenario,' but similar.
I honestly think my inability to 'connect with other human beings' on an emotional level is preventing 'my happiness.'
I am 'interested' in and 'have feelings for' a li'l broad who is keut and non-threatening, but I can't 'open up' to her because it seems beneath me or something, like there is 0nly 0ne pers0n who could understand my feelings and I can't even open up to that 0ne pers0n.
Sup with 'hipsters' and being 'detached li'l humans?' Is there something wrong with emotionz? Is there something 'evil' about them?
Seems like this blog post is 'fucking weak' because I'm getting vulns with y'all re 'my feelins.'
What do y'all think? Is it better to go through life 'not giving a shit,' or should I become a more 'emotionally stimulated/driven' person?
Should I 'scrap' this post and stop being 'a li'l pussie?'
'Where is my childhood?' — The Late Michael Jackson Fives
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