MOVIE TRAILER: ADVENTURELAND

B. McGILLICUDDY

*UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE*

Local Pittsburghers are anxious in anticipation for this, but no one else knows it exists. This is the movie that looks at the origins of Douchebag Culture and why your boss is the way he is. Because this was his adolescence.



Okay, so it's a shitty trailer for what looks like a shitty movie, but don't be fooled! No okay, you're right, it's gonna suck. Or if it doesn't suck, it'll be slow, it'll make a mediocre shot at being intellectual, and it'll definitely be awkward (possibly not-funny awkward).

Just to get the obvious out of the way, "Adventureland" will by no means hit the box-office or quotablility high-marks of Mottola's 2007 hit, "Supabayad", which was undeniably worth more than its weight in laughter. But at least this movie has FIVE THINGS we have NEVER SEEN BEFORE in a feature film.

1) A movie about working at an amusement park.

I've secretly always wanted to see a movie about this, mostly so I can justify not experiencing it. It's no far cry from Ryan Reynolds' other puke-fest, "Waiting", but at least he won't be playing the caricature of douchery he's been type-cast as since "Van Wilder". Also, cue "emotional rollercoaster" puns if this fad catches on.

2) MstrDweeeb, Jesse Eisenberg in his first (potentially) decent film since "The Squid And The Whale".

Eisenberg's lead roll in the incredibly honest, absolutely emo, Baumbach/Andersonian divorce epic was none-too-grand, but undeniably memorable. "Adventureland" is his one project sandwiched between shitty horror pictures and the occasional shitty melodrama, so there's a small but present chance it might stand out. He's got a film about the Stanford Prison Experiment coming out later this year, but that's one among five undeniably missable rolls.

3) Kristen Stewart sans fantasy plot/sans vampires/sans sympathy complex/having poolsex.

You know you really, really, really want to see her naked.

4) A "period piece" that's non-message is commentary on its target audience's lives, while simultaneously being set right around when their lives began.

Maybe this film will help us understand and appreciate the inevitable crisis of mid-life we've still got double the time to worry about, but the depicted assholes are currently living.

5) An ensemble cast that legitimately makes you go a) FTW!? and b) I wonder who the token's going to be.

None of these actors are part of the groups we've been used to seeing them run with. IF this movie works, it'll be great, because of the novelty of its cast. IF this movie is a FAIL (which it most definitely is) then it's Ryan Reynolds' fault mostly. ASIDE: How does Mottola avoid putting brown/asian/aboriginal people in his films? The one guy he put in Superbad was so blazed I don't even think he remembers what his line was.

But really, this movie looks like one of the industry's poorer attempts at cutting costs to appear more authentic (i.e. 500 days of summer, juno, etc.). However, what I think they might have unintentionally done, by cutting costs, is made a really good cult movie. Tell you what I'm going to do: I'm going to go up to Pittsburgh, toke up, and tailgate a PIRATE viewing of this movie, in Kennywood's parking lot as soon as its available. Then I'm going to toke up again and have a laugh at how my perceived reality imitates art. You do what you want, but the reason this movie is bloggable is because someone's not making enough money either for or off of it. I just hope it's the marketing team, and word-of-mouth can save it. So spread the word "Adventureland" MIGHT be good.

"Adventureland" out March 27th via Miramax at a theater near you (hopefully).

B. McGILLICUDDY


P.S.
The loss of Don LaFontaine is probably the main reason this trailer sucks.

P.P.S.
If my assessment of this is right, think "Dazed and Confused" meets "Johnny Be Good" meets "Clerks I", but in Pittsburgh. I think that spells out "potential". I just don't know in what ways or why I like those films anyway.

P.P.P.S.
The music in the trailer sucks cornnuts. The music in the film, will not.

*Just read the first ten pages of the screenplay. It's legit. This movie's going to depend solely on delivery.*